I am in Colossians this morning and it reminded me of
several friends questions this week and things they are going through. Colossians tells us to clothe ourselves with mercy, kindness,
humility, gentleness, patience, and forgiveness. “Above all clothe yourselves with love, which binds us all
together in perfect harmony.” And,
we are also to let the peace that comes from Christ rule in our hearts.
But where does this love come from?
1 John 4 tells us that God is love. It comes from Him. Only Christ in you can love “this
way.” It is not seen everywhere
and it is only birthed in Him. This world is filled with good people,
but the love of Christ changes the world.
So, all those virtues above are signs of love. And, they are bounded together by
love.
As we can learn, as Christians, that conflict has nothing to
do with the person we are dealing with, but with God (and ourselves), then we
can find resolution, peace, and unity.
I believe the only way to love yourself is to know His love. When you enter a relationship with
Christ, you encounter a love you had no idea existed; self confidence, self
esteem, and self value stem right from there. Also, this is that same love that you can then have for others.
You can love others that love you and be kind to those that are kind to you,
but Matthew 5 says, “but doesn’t make you any different from anyone else,
pagans and tax collectors do that.”
This is different.
I was talking to a friend last night and I reminded her
about a problem she is battling with:
this conflict has nothing to do with the person you are dealing
with. Nothing. The way you react is not dependant on
them. It doesn’t matter what he
said and HOW he said it. As
followers of Christ, we are to take things people say and do to us, to Him. Ask Him, is this true? Or is it not
true? And, how do You want me to deal with it? (I love you, but if you are not reading your Bible this will
not be your first reaction to conflicts.
Getcha booty in the Bible.).
In the case of another friend, maybe that means you say nothing and you
walk away, so you do not lose it. Then
you can go to God later when you are calm, and then resolve it after God gave
you wisdom. As you practice
self-control in Christ, it becomes more and more second nature. Jump out of your God box and things
unravel. It can always mean choosing not to react out of emotion.
Most of the time, the person that spoke harshly didn’t even
say what you think they said. Your
mind, thoughts, feelings, past emotions, etc conjured up something else. Someone
may have caused you to have certain views, negative thoughts about yourself,
feelings, emotions, and pain (physical and emotional). Someone pinned you with a name or
situation as a young person and now it is a memory, and ultimately, it became
your identity. You believe it to
be true so it seems to just follow you through adulthood because, well, it is
always there in your head, so it must be true. “This happened because of that. See, it’s true.”
Everyone does this.
I do not claim to be a counselor but these are all things that have come
from the wisdom of God. When you
ask Him to show you why you do things or others around you act a certain way,
He will guide you into a different knowledge to deal with people and situations
in a GODLY way with His love. I am
not saying it is easy, but you can step back and see these in people and remain
calm in Him. Only with this knowledge did I break free myself.
As a Follower, you get a new life in Christ.
Do you believe a new creation in Him???? (2 Corn 5:17, Romans 5:18, Romans 6:4, Romans 2:29, Romans 6:12… There ARE WAY MORE LISTED IN THE BIBLE. Those are the ones that I recorded in the back of my journal for reference)
Not just a “used up, take me as I am, worn, exhausted,
sluggish, and battered from the abuse of life’s past…but a New Life in
Him. He says a new life over and
over again. Paul was
transformed. One day killing Christians
then came to know Christ and drastically changed. What is the difference today? He actually believed and trusted what He said. (Blog on that saved on my desktop for
another day).
The reason that you still think about comments and conflicts
tomorrow or the next day or next week is because you have chosen to not take it
to God and deal with it. That is unforgiveness. Sometimes that means going to a
counselor because you taught yourself to deal with your emotions in a negative way
and now you CANNOT GET THEM untangled after years of trauma. Go. You have to, your brain has developed a path of handling issues (my counselor friend told me)... but with Godly counsel, God will untangle. I commend you for it.
You literally have to choose to abide in Christ (John 15:4) and hold
thoughts captive (2 Corinthians 10:5).
Do not allow them to think anything before you take it to God to filter
from your own garbage. ME
included! The same girl that God
designed to work for Him that has no problem asking a trafficker, “Oh, hi, are
you a family friend? Are you
Dominican, where are you from?” Is
the same girl that will rip your head off if I let the devil whisper in my ear
enough…
One is abiding and being used for the Glory of God. The other is selfish, without
self-control. My tenacity for
justice is the same, but now it is not for myself in defense to the devil’s
lies to my head, it is for something important and real.
I believe with the Holy Spirit that lives in us, He can tell
you anything. Maybe it is with the
help of other Christians. I like
my bff Heather when I have conflicts because she is in my face,
straight-forward. That is
love. She encourages me to do
God’s will, in this world and in my head! I don’t always like her advice, but God does.
So where do you begin?
Before you can start to fix outer conflicts, your inner
Jesus conflict needs to change. In
my Bible study this week, we discussed putting on your helmet of
Salvation. When you do this, you
have the mind of Christ.
Pause. Think.… the mind of
Christ. Do you have thoughts that
are of Christ? What about
sadness? Gloomy? Depressive? Negative?
Combative? Bitterness
(unforgiveness)? Unworthy? Exhausted? Discouraged? You deserve ___?
Jealousy? Selfish?
That is not the mind of Christ. KICK THEM OUT. “God,
is this person trying to be intentionally mean? Trying to harm me?
Humiliate me? Attack me?” If GOD SAYS, yes, and He MIGHT, remove
yourself. There is no dealing with
that.
But I know most of the time, it isn’t true. It is a lie in your head. You have to choose to trust God. You then have to trust that the
people that are around you, love you, and are trying to help you be a “better
Christian.” (Or if they aren’t helping you because they are not Christian and
really are just mean, then you have to choose not to battle with them and guard
your heart from bitterness (in Christ).
If you do not trust that they do love you and are led by Christ, then
you will not be able to do that.
Start back over at God conflicts.
Unforgiveness will never allow peace with others. You can’t get dressed in these virtues
when you are bitter harboring old emotions. Be renewed daily.
Not daily with the old garbage.
When you take on the mind of Christ, your identity is in
Christ. You know why it is hard to
hurt my feelings? (THIS has not
always been the case.) I refuse to
allow anyone to pin me to something I am not. Immediately, I ask Christ ,“Is this what You say I am?” Someone hurts your feelings because you had thoughts that followed their comment. You are in control of that in your head
and heart…only if you let Christ control you. In Christ, I am.
He says I am righteous, seated next to him and a daughter of a
King. Taking it!
If we do not have peace and trust in Him, we cannot have
peace and trust in relationships around us. Conflict is constant and communication is off. We can’t figure out why nothing is what
it really is.
This week’s assignment: ask God to search you out. He already knows you.
He tells us to do this so He can show us stuff. Do you trust Him to give
you sound advice when someone wrongs you? Then choose to do as He says.
2 Corin 3:17 Where the Spirit of
the Lord is, there is freedom. I
LOVE THAT!
