New Unknown Path

At first, I had decided that I wasn’t going to tell the details of Daniela’s life.  I decided it was to be private and would respect her by not letting you in on everything.  That is why you haven’t seen a blog yet.  Although there will be times God will prompt me to do that, He told me the other day that is not the case here—that He gets glory from the work He was doing long before me, right now, and what He will do in the future through 2 precious children of His named Daniela and Yesica. 

We all knew the story around here last year of a local family that watched dad kill mom with a hammer in their house.  We heard that the kids watched the horror, were chased out, and had run for their lives.  We had met with the family to see if we could help and Delynn, our friend, was ready to scoop them up in adoption.  The two oldest sisters said no.  They wouldn’t even accept our free counseling that we found for the kids.  It was very sad.  We had purchased a teddy bear for the girls because our counselor friend, Jessica in the States, advised it would help with security and communication.  Daniela named her teddy bear machete.  Sad.  Frightening, actually.  Soon Daniela (now 10) was sent to Santiago to live with the sister and Yessica (4) went to live with the other sister.  Her older brother stayed living here with a neighbor family, all separated.  Through the year they have been passed around.  I asked God last year, “Do I take her?”  I felt nothing.  Heard nothing.  (There is another sister that lives in the Capitol but we are not too sure what happened and why she was given to another family a couple years ago.)

Fast forward, we have seen Daniela sporadically in town over the last year.  Sometimes she was living with random people or families.  Luke, Nay, and I went out inviting kids for sports camp and we saw Daniela playing in the streets with her friends and she got an invite to camp.  The first day, 2 Mondays ago, a man came to get her.  FIGHT talked it over and we decided that we wouldn’t release her to some random man, even if she said he works at the school.  He called sister and she said he was taking her to an orphanage.  She couldn’t care for her and was sending her there.  This sister has 3 children of her own.  (It appears that Daniela is the black sheep that has been neglected this past year, and I can't figure out why because she is truly a blessing.  I love her heart.) I asked Suleidy to translate and tell her that it was okay to go with him and that Jesus is with us wherever we go, the Bible says that we are never alone.

I looked back at Sul after and said, “I lied to her.  That was a lie that she would be okay.  I have no idea if she will be okay.”  The rest of the day I thought about that sentence, “You will be go okay.”

Daniela cried and didn’t want to go.  We told her she had to go.  And she left.  Sadness and fear were all over her face.  Lost.  Lost with no one caring for her.  Sul came back to tell us that Daniela’s little friends are crying.  She had told her friends that she is scared that men might rape her.  (Many women in her family work in prostitution (underage and of age) and she told me after she moved in that she was often left alone from 3pm-12AM daily.  Details of what happened are unclear at this point. Sister says that it must be “crazy men” breaking in at night that did that.  We think it might be trafficking. I try not to ask question her, but let her just talk these first few weeks.  She did tell me her 13 year old cousin asked her to sell her body to a man.  This was when mom was alive because she said her mom was angry and didn’t like that cousin. 

So, that night Naomi and I didn’t sleep a bit.  At 1 AM God woke me up asking me to surrender and take Daniela… be her mom.  I would love to tell you that I was elated.  I wasn’t.  I was so sick to my stomach at the thought of taking on a kid.  I never saw this coming.  I can’t really say I wanted children of my own, let alone adopt.  I have been on the fence for years, always leaning towards no kids.  I definitely think a husband should be before adopting kids (for me).  I cried on and off through out the night surrendering to myself, tossing and turning to the thought.  Another death of myself and the life “I think” I should have.   Completely selfish, I know.  By morning, I had given in, but not before God said, “surrender taking Yesica, too.”  2 kids. Wow.

Your will not mine...even if most of the time I do not understand or know how we will pull it off.

In the morning, Naomi had said in our Facebook group that she couldn’t sleep and I said I couldn’t either.  They asked if God said anything to me. I purposely didn’t answer back… not wanting to say out loud what God told me…then I would be held accountable to be obedient.  We had a mission team here and it is so time-consuming to run teams.  I barely slept the whole week from this surrender and I was physically exhausted from the team.  I would crawl into bed at night and tears would fall because I had no idea what was going to happen. 

When I finally spilled the news, Naomi said God told her the night before the same thing.

A few days before this all happened, Josh told me that he had a dream about me, and God told him to tell me “some thing big is coming and it is good.”  I know Josh thinks this dream has to do with adopting the girls, but I had asked God on confirmation of a husband right before Josh had told me that.  I believe it was confirmation of a man soon. 

I have tons of stories already about things Daniela has told me about our mighty King and I can’t wait to share it with you. 

Monday God asked and by the next Monday Daniela moved in.  Ya know, like God-ridiculous-speed without being able to plan for anything and making me jump in a stomach-twisting leap.  They sent her with nothing but the clothes on her back and some shoes a neighbor demanded back that was borrowed.  Yesica came last Friday, just 5 days later.  She had a bag with her, thankfully.

I leave you with God’s first provision in the crazy journey.  Before Heartland Community Church left, they pooled their money (I had told Pastor Eric a bit about what was up).  Their GENEROUS gift allowed me to go to the store and stock Daniela up with clothes, shoes, bathing suit, and a houseful of food.  Plus more. 

Be in prayer to get all the papers needed to do guardianship.  As of today, I am only missing one paper to sign.

New Living Translation (NLT)

Psalm 46

¹ God is our refuge and strength,
    always ready to help in times of trouble.
² So we will not fear when earthquakes come
    and the mountains crumble into the sea.
³ Let the oceans roar and foam.
    Let the mountains tremble as the waters surge!

⁴ A river brings joy to the city of our God,
    the sacred home of the Most High.
⁵ God dwells in that city; it cannot be destroyed.
    From the very break of day, God will protect it.
⁶ The nations are in chaos,
    and their kingdoms crumble!
God’s voice thunders,
    and the earth melts!
⁷ The Lord of Heaven’s Armies is here among us;
    the God of Israel^[b] is our fortress. 

⁸ Come, see the glorious works of the Lord:
    See how he brings destruction upon the world.
⁹ He causes wars to end throughout the earth.
    He breaks the bow and snaps the spear;
    he burns the shields with fire.

¹⁰ “Be still, and know that I am God!
    I will be honored by every nation.
    I will be honored throughout the world.”

¹¹ The Lord of Heaven’s Armies is here among us;
    the God of Israel is our fortress.

Freihofer's, please!

Wow.  Just realized I hadn't written since the end of March.  Yikes.

April I flew home to Florida for a week at Easter (check out this for the blessing). It was a blast getting to hang out with friends and being filled with love the whole week.  We went kayaking, drove in the car singing like we can with the windows down, and laughed up a storm. 

It has taken two full years, but it was the first time I went home and did not get sad that I didn't live there.  It felt just like vacation and going home to the Dominican was effortless.  It was very awkward to not feel like I "belonged" in either country the last few years.  I knew this was my forever home but my heart always felt pulled toward the comforts of America.  Thank God it is gone!

So last week, friends and family pitched in to send me home to NY (I guess NY, FL, and the DR are all "home?")

Michael and I drove up for my brother John's wedding.  We had a great time catching up with life on the drive up.  I love turning up the radio and singing with him.  It was about 2 in the morning and we were using the GPS until we were sure we knew where we were.  By then, we were just exhausted.  I had been traveling ALL DAY.  I looked at Mike and said, "Hey, this crazy thing is saying we are 44 minutes away."  He said, "no, that thing is nuts, exit 9 is coming up right here."  I went along with him and as we pulled up to exit 9 off the Northway, we realized something happened.  We were not on the right highway!  I started to laugh my butt off, Mike started to lose it for a minute.  We got off and Mike had to pee.  I said, "pull over and pee, then!"  He was like, "What?  No, you can't do that here, I will get a ticket!"  (I have been living in the DR for too long.  Men can pee anywhere here!  ANYWHERE!)

I got to catch up with my neices and nephews whom have always lived far because I was in Florida the last 10 years.  One day I just took them on the dock and we took turns fishing in a rotation.  I think they loved it as much as I did.  My sister's kid, Lizzy, is a pistol.  She is a look-a-like of Kathleen and a sassy-pants like Aunt Philly.  Uncle Michael used a bad word in front of her and she said, "I may not be able to do anything about it, but she surely can!"  and pointed at me.  HAHAHA  Love that girl.  I love that she knows I will take care of things for her.   I sat next to Lizzy for dinner and she looked at my plate and said, "You didn't get a meatball?"  I said "Nah, I don't want one."  "Oh, okay, then you didnt know THOSE are GRANDMA'S meatballs, right?"  "Oh, yea, I know Gram made them."  "Wait, what? You didnt get one and YOU KNEW she made them?  Why would you do that?  They are my favorite!"

I must agreed with the kid,  they are some of my favorites, too.  Those babies are baseball to softball size.  She is actually an amazing cook.  Everything from scratch.  I envy her talent without recipes.

So I am back home in the DR.  It's good to be back and once again, I was fine with coming back and didn't feel any sadness for feeling torn about where I live.  Things are going well.  Life is good.  This weekend a mission team from Winter Haven, FL is coming down.  I love meeting with teams here locally or having our own because I love getting to meet new people and talking Jesus stuff.  I am excited to see God work in others. 

I leave you with this...
One thing I LOVE about visiting the States is that you get pure joy out of seeing things you haven't seen in a long time gone.  Things that you wouldn't even care about because you see it all the time (living there), become a RUSH of sweet, sweet memories of simple things.  When I got on my Jetblue flight, I got a coffee and the cup was DD.  I smiled ear to ear.  I love seeing Dunkin Donuts.  Reminds me of my BFF, Heather Buell from high school.  She spilled a coolatta all over my car the very last time I saw her.  We laughed so hard that day that our bellies ached.

I woke up one morning at the lake house and this was on the counter... okay, I had to not let the tears well up!  I love these freaking things!  My NYers totally get it. Cinnamon,  PLEASE!  If only I could have had their cookies, too!

Tara and I got a chance to drive around Lake George to get a few things.  I took the ride because I wanted to go down the strip and let the memories just soak up my soul!  We went to Price Chopper.  Oh, the memories of that supermarket <3  Guiseppe's, the Boats, Capri Pizza, late night walks, etc.  I pictured us kids up to NOOOO good at each corner hidden among the tourists on the streets.

And, I miss listening to the radio on scan.  Phyllis Fun Fact:  I love the SCAN button.  That will make memories flow like nothing else. 

I am so thankful God made our brains able to remember things like this.  I love it.  Warms my heart. 

What things warm your heart of memories??