Court Update

I had court this past Tuesday for their mom's death trial.  Mom's sister did not show up to court and she must be present to proceed.  For no reason at all, she decided to not come.  She knows that the case stops if she doesn''t show up.  When we got to court, my lawyer called her incessantly telling her she needs to get there.  We were called fairly early and had to ask the judge to postpone our case until she got there.  We would have been out of court by 10, instead we stayed until almost 4:30pm waiting to be called again.  Then the sister had the audacity to ask for money because she doesn't have gas.  I am appalled because I have to pay my lawyer for entire day's worth of work all because she decided to not show up on time.

I feel like in the USA we have very high standards and respect for human beings as a whole.  I am sometimes so shocked by the way the government is not run the same way.  I am really taken back by things that seem to be so "common nature" to us, is not the same here.

One of the cases before ours was a rape trial.  3 young men, my age, sat in front of us in the court room.  The victim was seated in front of them.  These adult men were acting like children. They were laughing, snickering, whispering, and making sexual gestures with their hands to the man accused of raping her.  The laughing and snickering continued as she return to her seat and off the stand.

How mortifying.

No one said anything to them.

As cases are waiting for the judges on recess, all the inmates have family and friends up and talking to them.  At any point, anyone can slip them something.  Besides that, it was loud and obnoxious.  There was no respect for the courtroom.  Even when the judges are in there, there are people crammed up all the walls and sitting 6-7 people deep on the benches made for 3-4 adults comfortably.  It's unreal.

As our case is called again, the public defender wants almost all the documents like the police report, autopsy, etc thrown out because of dates not put in a specific spot.  The judge denies and the other lawyer says he doesn't know what he is talking about, there are dates.  Image having a child be a lawyer, that is what this young man was like watching.

The judge calls each person to see if they are present and I stand in place of my kids.  Then, she calls Amantina.  The deceased.  We have been to trial 4 times (I missed the first one(...and every time she calls the dead to stand.  I must admit it pisses me off that she cannot write herself a NOTE: VICTIM-DECEASED.  You know, the one this guy over here killed.  The reason we are all here today. 

The trial has finally moved forward into an actual trial.  The dad never got a private lawyer and the judge never even asks him about it.  I bet she doesn't even know that we were rescheduled for that.  I bet she didn't know that we have been there 5 times.  The police report is disgustingly vague, lacking important details, like Jessica and Daniela were present.  Things like he attempted murder on them but their rabbit cage was locked, in which they hid for safety.

The lawyer pulls out the hammer used in the crime with his bare hands. The man that runs notes between the judges and lawyers and remains order in the room, jumps back from his desk in disgust, telling him not to touch it with bare hands.  The lawyer then grabs a pamphlet that looks like something to advertise for Sea World and picks it back up with the paper.  He begins to chuckle as he is putting in the pi public defender's face.  All the while something is hilarious to one of the judges and she is cracking up, hiding her face low behind her computer screen.  Luke pointed to her and I was in awe.

Where am I?  Is this really happening right now?  How dare anyone laugh about anything in this courtroom?  It's nothing for them to have phones out and showing photos, Facebook; I have no idea what they are doing, at times.

We will take the girls to testify outside the courtroom in 2 weeks when they notify me.  Then, our final trial date is Thanksgiving Day.

Another update:  Passports
We went to go get passports yesterday and was denied again.  I hired a lawyer to handle all of that. She said it was ready, we have authorization, I paid her for helping me... then I get to the office and they said that they didn't know I was American.  They can't authorize it there.  Then, the extremely rude lady wants to know where their dad is..I am appalled that I gave her my documents stating my CASE and she is asking me this!  Then, she asks where their real mom is...seriously?  She read none of it after she took it to the backroom to be discussed.  Evidently, that happen in Santo Domingo, too.  Sorry, didn't know you were American.  I was like, are you saying that she did not read this document from the judge?  Because no where in here does it say I have a Dominican Cedulla card, only says American passport.

My lawyer drove all the way to Santo Domingo a few weeks ago.  She is Dominican, so we have no excuses for language miscommunication.  She explained the case and they still were lazy and didn't do anything thorough.  I prayed and got calm quickly.  My lawyer is calling some people.  If we can't process it here, I can go to Santo Domingo and get them for sure.  It's just a hassle because I need to do visas there.  That is a lot of trips to the Capitol and maybe having to stay overnight in a hotel to save on costs.


All in all, I am calm about everything.  I don't think living here and understanding the system gets easier.  Mainly because there is no order.  People are lazy and it doesn't matter.  There is no hierarchy of authority.  A judge grants flying rights, but the passport office doesn't think I should have flying rights, so they deny.  So I have to hire a lawyer to get them to follow their own laws?  Money wasted because you won't get anything accomplished unless you do.   Then, they don't read the documents, make mistakes, and don't care to even apologize or make it work because it is their fault.  It is none of the passports office clerk's business where mom and dad are, I am legal guardian and the judge said allow it.

Let you know about passports next week.  Lift us up.

Higher than Our Ways

A little update to start:   we were finally granted rights to FLY!  Document in hands.  Real deal, people.  We had Dad's trial earlier this week and just as the trial started, the public defender said that his client wanted to have a private attorney come.  In some crazy turn of events that I swear only happens here, they granted it.  I doubt he even has a private attorney hired.   In two weeks, we will go to trial again.  This will be the 5th time he has had a trial date.  I am amazed.  The more that this drags on, the more I think he is going to walk free.  I spoke to a friend here and she said the same.  I really have no emotions to that right now, maybe it will change.  Daniela told me last week at dinner we should give Dad a chance.  I agreed that we forgave Dad and not have any bad feelings harboring, but we will not be hanging out with him and he is not welcome to come here.  Unless he accepts Jesus as Savior, we cannot hang out with him because he is dangerous. (We need to remember that he tried to kill the girls twice.  Once in poisoning (they didn't eat it) and then after attacking Mom...  Sadly, non of this is even in his charges, which should be included.)

Their dad is so odd.  I purposely stare at him in court to make eye contact and he refuses to even look my way.  I often wonder if it is a Satan/Jesus thing going on.   One would think he should have no issue staring me down to make me feel threatened, but he won't look at me.  Funny enough, I am trying to get him to make eye contact to show him I am not fearful of him.  He seems in a trance.  He doesn't even talk to the inmate he is connected to at the wrist.  (Inmates are connected to another, always having one hand free.  Who came up with that crazy idea?  No clue.  Then, when you are called up, you are uncuffed completely.    They are walked between guests, in the aisles, in the courtroom as they enter or exit...that is super creepy.

Now, onto my real reason for writing today.  For several months now my family has been living at the bare bottom of our budget.  Like, I didn't even know we could figure it out this low on money.  I have told the girls since day one, and we have been praying.  I have not spoken much about it because I felt led to stay quiet and not ask.  I have big faith the Lord provides.  That wasn't the test.  At first, I thought, ok, we go low for a month or two, then God shoots our money back up.  Our monthly support is based on whatever God wants to send each month, is what we get.  Fundraising is great and most do it to stay on the mission field, but it isn't what God has asked of me yet.  I am not against fundraising, I just think it should always be Spirit led.  So I waited.  I think it was around month 3,  I got my support email from Padre O (Luke's dad) and I about lost it on God!  LOST. IT.  I waited a few months, now send it back up!  I had faith, I didn't ask anyone for help, I prayed, I scrape by figuring out a budget that is too low to cover my needs, next step is blessing.  Among a few other choice words that are ridiculous of me.  As embarrassing as that is to say out loud, it is true and it helps to see we all have wrong thoughts that need to be checked and changed.  Next month, I think we got an extra $40.  I could have cared less.  To me, I thought, that is nothing.  I got Daniela (D) from school and as we went up the stairs, she said, You got paid today?  Did we get anything more?  I said, yea we got 40 more.  D said, OH, MAMA!  God is so good!  So good to us!  Conviction kicked me in the face.  Talk about embarrassed and knocked on my butt.  I could not even thank Him in that.  Every month we miraculously had enough for bills and food by generous donors which were sometimes anonymous.  But I wasn't appreciative.  I felt like we should not live at the very bottom with nothing to spare. 

I had two people offer if "I needed anything for the girls."  I wanted to say, yeah, give us money!  We need help.  But I couldn't.  There was this weird God feeling.  Every time I wanted to ask them to pay for my lawyer bill (for working out flying rights), I felt God say no.  I had no idea what was going on.  It made no sense, I have 2 people asking and I can't even tell them the needs?  That makes no sense.  I stayed obedient.  Something is here.  Something is going on.  (I remembered a time before I moved to the DR, I had so much money in my account from God's outpouring blessing on moving.  I had a Sunday lunch after church with my girls planned, but I felt God saying no.  I thought, NO WHAT?  It is maybe $15 to eat out, I won't see these people anymore, and you are saying, do not go to lunch?  Why?  I never knew why God told me to not go.  All I ever knew was that He told me to not do something and I needed to listen.  That was the lesson: Listen. 

Last week, Luke and Naomi gave us some money that they felt led to help.  Little did they know that we did not have much to eat until Wed., when we got paid again.   We had eaten sausage a few times and I picked a pack up that day because it was super cheap meal. I can pick it up for 125 pesos and have it for lunch the next day.  Pasta is super cheap and was an option to, to get us to payday.  They constantly bless us in ways that I can never repay, like fixing my car tonight, fixing my pipe earlier today, etc a true resemblance of Acts church... but, anyway, I can pray for God's blessing on them. 

Sunday came and one of the girls' aunts came over saying she wants money for a bus ticket.  I told her I do not have money.  They think Americans are loaded.  All the time.  Sorry, can't help you.  As Monday approached I needed to buy D another test for parasites but couldn't afford it.  When I was at court with the family, I asked them to pay for parking ($1) and they wouldn't pay it, saying I should pay for it.  I literally had like $2 on me and I wasn't about to pay it when they didn't even offer to help me with gas or anything and almost caused 2 accidents because they are super crazy, yelling Dominicans trying to ride 9-11 people in my 5 passenger car.  Anyway, I said we couldn't leave unless someone found a dollar to pay for parking! Finally, they agreed. 

I thought, how can I be so low on money that I can't afford parking!  I decided the next day, ok, Ill write out a check that won't be cashed for a few days and will be ok.  I wrote it out and left $1.37 in my checking.  We got a stool test, couple things to eat for dinner, got Jessica ice cream bc she was promised ice cream for a good day (PS if last year was Daniela's year to drive me insane, this is Jessica's!)

Wed early morning, I got up and prayed.  I remembered it had been awhile that I wrote down my needs to the Lord.  I wrote "Please provide, Lord," and listed out things.  I told God, you promise to provide, but here I sit for over a week with a bill that is overdue!  That is not providing for me.  I saw the list and was super overwhelmed, at first.  As I sat on the porch, I was reminded God knows this list and He already knows the future.


This month my check was deposited and we had 100 over the usual low, I thought okay, I can now pay my lawyer, it was first on my list.  Thank you, God!  But I will ask Padre O to see if FIGHT would approve helping me out with the $30 something more I owed her.  What did I feel God saying?  Yeah, the answer was no.   I reasoned I don't have it!  I only have 100 over the usual.  I took out my journal and crossed off the first thing on my list, attorney bill, and put the date.  (Hilarious, the very next day I could cross that off.)  It would not subside, Phyllis pay it in full with your own money, continued to be felt in my Spirit.  Fine, I can pay that bill in full, alone.  I know You will provide for us.  We have never, ever gone without in the 4+ years I have been here.  Fine.  Ok.  We pay that and the rest will just work out.

Padre O texted me asking if I was ok with money lately, which is totally normal for him checking on us and seeing if we are ok or need help.  I said we were fine.  He asked if we were ready for a blessing.  I said, sooner than later!  What did he say next?  We got a big fat donation.  :)

I got up from my chair.  I got on my knees and cried...sorry that I am such a jerk sometimes to the Lord and He STILL provides.  I don't think I stopped crying for like an hour.  Tears just kept rolling.  I felt led to take out my list and add up the totals.  It covered everything from passports, visas, teeth cleanings, lawyer costs (from the trial, unknown right now what that cost will be), a few PE pants for the girls, and my Jeep needs some stuff fixed.  I so badly wanted to write a blog for these things a month ago for help.  I knew generous people would jump on it and help, but it never felt right.  I knew if I did that, it would be disobedience.  Now, it freaks me out to think if I just went ahead and did it my way, I would have missed out on this lesson and this blessing.  Listen to those, waits, not now, hold on, something doesn't feel right...they are there for reasons.

I went to Daniela's school in my workout clothes.  I was not going to allow her to miss out on the high emotions of this crazy God moment.  The bell had just rang and I saw her running.  I called her over and told her as tears fell from my face and she said WHY SO MUCH?  I said, I have no idea!  The night before, D led the prayer at dinner and said, God I know you give us what You think is sufficient, but we ask You to please give us a little bit more money. 

As much as I have hated this season, I have loved it for myself and kids, too.  A time of prayer and seeking.  A time for asking God to provide.  A time to know real need and to ask God to fulfill it.  Many live on far less than what I have and would LOVE what God provides me every month.  Many things were revealed to me.    There is a closeness to the Lord when you are praying for things like food and bills; for providence if you blow a tire; for help for new school pants...we often never have to ask for those things.  We make our money.  We work overtime for even more.  Not when you are in the field.  I have donors that give generously monthly, some one time, some I have never met before, one I do not even think is a human but maybe an angel? Seriously, who is that friggen lady that no one knows!????  Singles, families, grandparents, my home church, but it doesn't matter who these people are, really....it's God. Crazy.  Really, it is.  Isn't it?

This has gotten long, but even you non-christians love these God stories.  They never get old.  Since having kids, my most fixated thought is that they will follow the Lord.  I do not care if they get the best grades. I don't care if they go to college. I don't care if they can't afford dinner on their table one day. I don't care if they choose to go fight ISIS...All I pray about is that they come to know the Lord and trust in Him as I have modeled.  That they grow their roots deep in Christ.  That they leave no room for themselves.  That everyday they learn how to die to themselves and life for Christ.  Then, will I know that they are perfectly safe, because they are following Christ.  Even in their deaths, I can be rest assured that He provided for them as He willed and He was with them and never left them alone.  All the things I will never be able to do for them.  All I can do is live this life pointing them to Him. 

Jessica came into my bed late one night.  Hey, mama, if you die, who is going to take care of me?  Another mama, Jess.  Well, maybe not. Maybe you'll have a daddy by then. I don't really know, Jess, but I KNOW God will take care of you, for sure.   Okay, good.  Night, mama.  

That was enough.  

Is enough.