The Sunday before last, I started a fast on food. I felt drawn to the book of Daniel and wasn't too sure why, but I knew the Lord was calling me to "purify my camp." When I finally got around to reading the book, I came to Daniel only eating vegetables and water for 10 days. I felt like I should fast, so I began the next morning (1/29/17). I figured I would stop when I felt the Lord say so.
These are some notes I took from my journal. I think fasting is so important for believers and sadly, no one discusses it because they have twisted the Bible verse about flaunting it. Every time I fast, I get a real feeling for starvation. God always reminds me of trafficking victims and how they continue to live in such abuse, even when it doesn't seem possible. The difference with me is that in my starvation, I have Christ. He is everything to me, even my daily Bread.
Day 1: Sunday
Only ate vegetables, water, hot tea, or black coffee w unsweet cacao. It was so odd to not use anything on the vegetables but seasoning. God reminded me that "I don't live on bread alone."
Day 2:
My stomach bloating that had been going on for weeks has subsided. I had gotten a few tests done and nothing came back but some yeast and starch in my stool. I had taken 2 heavy antibiotics in December/January for a bacteria I had. I don't know if that threw my body off, but I haven't felt well in months. I was happy the H Pylori bacteria was gone but hated that my tests showed no parasites, amoebas, or bacteria issues when I knew my stomach ached and body wasn't normal. I started the fast thinking this was just to purify my mind and lean into God more, but it turned into so much more! Doesn't it always when you fast? I started to wonder if we were starving/fixing my stomach/intestinal issues, too. I went to my workout class that was pretty intense with HIIT workouts. I wanted an excuse not to go and felt led to go. So I did. I was amazed that I had more energy than I thought I would.
Day 3:
Sustainer has become the repeating word in my mind. Jesus is my Sustainer. He sustains. When my hunger kicks in, He says, "not by bread alone" (Deut 8:3). Whenever I am low on grains in my normal-balanced diet, my legs begin to ache and my headaches start-- but I don't have any of those. So odd. 3 days without any meat, sugar, grains, fruits, beans, oils, etc and I feel pretty normal. I have seen 40 days pop in my head a few times, I'm not sure if that is what He is asking. I have felt this urge to pray for others. I will keep going until I feel led otherwise.
Day 4:
I feel ODDLY good! Seems crazy to not have sugar or oil in days. I went to my workout class, because I, again, wanted a reason not to go and God said, "I give you strength!" in psalm 29:11. He was showing me that He supplies me with energy for my workouts, not myself. I do miss meat and my muscle recovery from workouts show greatly with no protein in my system. God asked me to ask a friend what she needed deliverance from. I thought the wording was so odd, but asked her anyway because she loves Christ and I knew something had to be going on. She texted back immediately with a long story of what was going on. I was floored but also knew God knows what He is doing and shouldn't be too shocked. I committed the day to her in the fast. Every-time I wanted to talk to God about myself or my list of questions for Him, He would direct me to her...NOT ME. Uh! Why not both, God!? Just her. I am honored to do this. I don't know why He would favor me to take part in such a heavenly realm task. I cry. I cry most days feeling super overwhelmed in His presence.
Day 5: No food-Full Fast
By now God had given me a laundry list of people to intercede on their behalf and pray for...I thought, how long could this possibly go on for? I need more food, God. I started to become prideful and not agree with the list. There were some people I didn't want to pray for and definitely did not want to FAST for them! I started this out for myself and here I am having to pray for others. That morning, I felt the Lord say no food. I CRIED. When I fast, my body and soul is so weakened. I cry over everything out of exhaustion of mind as I lay it down to Christ. All of it. What? No food? I am submitted and surrendered to You in this fast! How am I being disciplined? I am righteously angry for the hardened people you put on my list that don't care about YOU! But He showed me: I do not choose. He does. Even if I am right in my thoughts, He says who and when. That morning I was reading Philippians and came across this--
1:19 For I know that as you pray for me and the Spirit of Jesus Christ helps me, this will lead to my deliverance.
I was in complete shock. Look at that word: deliverance. Right there. Through the prayers. What!? I felt Him saying, "I want you to be a bridge, Phyllis." I could feel I needed to be broken even deeper to be used in my Spiritual Gifts. God has been showing me something since early December and now He is bringing it full circle for His people, the Kingdom.
Day 6: No food-Full Fast
The morning came and I still felt convicted about eating anything. Ok. I can do this. You sustain me. I read in a book this AM: The peace of God passes understanding, at the cost of all your fears. The cost is high: yourself.
I feel good. Sustained. Oddly totally ok. How long, God? I feel down today. Like, I don't understand why He goes so quiet. I don't hear or feel much of anything today. My body feels sad and heavy. Sounds very odd, but I feel a body cleanse. Am I sick? Am I being healed of something that I don't even know I have? Wouldn't You get glory if I was diagnosed first...then You heal?
I kept hearing the Lord saying 27 pushups. It repeated 3 times in my thoughts. Finally, I got up and prayed. Like, is that you, God, and what are you talking about!??? I told Him I had never done that many pushups consecutively in my life! I have barely eaten in 4 days and NO FOOD in the last 2 days. Even if I could, right now I am not nourished to do pushups. But, I got on my knees and started. I went to 28 and laughed. I could have done more. WHAT!? I give you strength.
It was like God is teaching me that He wants me to have no self reliance, just Him. Like, I am not looking to do anything by your power, I am leading you into something new that will be on MINE only.
Day 7: Back to Veg Only
I am kinda bothered that I am losing weight on a fast. I have worked so hard the last few years on Weight Watchers measuring everything that goes into my mouth and work out so hard and these 15 lbs REFUSE to budge. Now, on a fast, I am losing weight? The scale said down 7lbs and then I felt convicted weighing. No more scale, my spirit whispered. I told God, this is ridiculous. He showed me, He gets the glory. I told Him, You get the glory already! I eat well and workout for the body that is Yours! It appears like I don't have self-control being overweight and it appears I don't workout because I don't lose weight! Why wouldn't you change what the problem is with my body/hormones and get the glory?? But He wants all the glory. I feel embarrassed when people notice, I will have to say it's from a fast. That's not fair. Isn't it normal to get recognition for hard work and diligence? Wouldn't the world say that that is normal? But instead, He says on my terms you lose or not. I was just mind-blown by this. Like, how far can You cut me down? You are showing me things that are beyond human eyes. I was so humbled by this. Like, no recognition to me for the work you do. Okkkkk!
I feel like I am being cut down at the knees.
I hear God saying things in my Spirit like:
Go into the trenches
Come down to the ground
I choose, not you
Do as I say and when
Christ did not demand and cling to His rights. He made Himself nothing and I am nothing. Suffer for others. Empty stomach or not, my strength is Christ. My friend Ang emailed me about intersessory prayer is represented by incense in Rev 5:8. They are put in golden bowls with praise. She told me it is very humbling to pray for someone else who doesn't realize what it cost you. In this, we share in suffering. She reminded me to keep in mind Christ's cost and everything we gained! She said that our self is not allowed in the holy of the holies, this is an intimate level. We must press on because this is not natural.
She validated so many things the Lord was telling me already. I am at a place in this fast few draw in to to experience. I kept praying and thanking God that I could even be a part of something so wonderful that HE IS doing.
Today my arms have these cold tingling feelings going down them.
Day 8:
I feel perfect and tingling went away. I took the healthiest poop I have seen in 6-8 weeks! How insane is that? (I don't even know how that is possible).
Day 11: Today
I don't have conviction in eating. I just counted the days and realized today is 11!! I thought it was 10! I kept thinking shouldn't I go to 10, Daniel did 10?? Then, I counted the days and realized I finished 10 ayer. Today I feel like He is showing me to continue with my list, but I don't have to fast. It is super exciting.
I know something new is coming. In the Bible, they are told to purify their camps before God is about to do something crazy. I know that I am coming into a personal ministry with my Spiritual Gifts, I am just not sure of all the details yet. This fast showed me that God wants to do something through me but I need to be willing to be emptied completely in order to do it. As I texted with Luke and Naomi this morning, they both confirmed the same...something is about to change. We all feel pulled to shed away and purify the camp. I can't wait for it all to unfold and you guys get to see it all.
I have only really eaten one meal today and my stomach feels awful. So painful and in knots. It is just awful in multiple ways without details. Fasting felt easier than coming off a 10 day fast. Suffering comes to mind again. But, I know nothing about suffering, even when I want to complain, I am humbled to be silent. Around the world my brothers and sisters in Christ feel suffering at the hands of other religions. That is suffering. This is nothing, but I do feel like one day I will know real hunger and starvation, but I will already know and have experienced, I don't live off bread alone.
These are some notes I took from my journal. I think fasting is so important for believers and sadly, no one discusses it because they have twisted the Bible verse about flaunting it. Every time I fast, I get a real feeling for starvation. God always reminds me of trafficking victims and how they continue to live in such abuse, even when it doesn't seem possible. The difference with me is that in my starvation, I have Christ. He is everything to me, even my daily Bread.
Day 1: Sunday
Only ate vegetables, water, hot tea, or black coffee w unsweet cacao. It was so odd to not use anything on the vegetables but seasoning. God reminded me that "I don't live on bread alone."
Day 2:
My stomach bloating that had been going on for weeks has subsided. I had gotten a few tests done and nothing came back but some yeast and starch in my stool. I had taken 2 heavy antibiotics in December/January for a bacteria I had. I don't know if that threw my body off, but I haven't felt well in months. I was happy the H Pylori bacteria was gone but hated that my tests showed no parasites, amoebas, or bacteria issues when I knew my stomach ached and body wasn't normal. I started the fast thinking this was just to purify my mind and lean into God more, but it turned into so much more! Doesn't it always when you fast? I started to wonder if we were starving/fixing my stomach/intestinal issues, too. I went to my workout class that was pretty intense with HIIT workouts. I wanted an excuse not to go and felt led to go. So I did. I was amazed that I had more energy than I thought I would.
Day 3:
Sustainer has become the repeating word in my mind. Jesus is my Sustainer. He sustains. When my hunger kicks in, He says, "not by bread alone" (Deut 8:3). Whenever I am low on grains in my normal-balanced diet, my legs begin to ache and my headaches start-- but I don't have any of those. So odd. 3 days without any meat, sugar, grains, fruits, beans, oils, etc and I feel pretty normal. I have seen 40 days pop in my head a few times, I'm not sure if that is what He is asking. I have felt this urge to pray for others. I will keep going until I feel led otherwise.
Day 4:
I feel ODDLY good! Seems crazy to not have sugar or oil in days. I went to my workout class, because I, again, wanted a reason not to go and God said, "I give you strength!" in psalm 29:11. He was showing me that He supplies me with energy for my workouts, not myself. I do miss meat and my muscle recovery from workouts show greatly with no protein in my system. God asked me to ask a friend what she needed deliverance from. I thought the wording was so odd, but asked her anyway because she loves Christ and I knew something had to be going on. She texted back immediately with a long story of what was going on. I was floored but also knew God knows what He is doing and shouldn't be too shocked. I committed the day to her in the fast. Every-time I wanted to talk to God about myself or my list of questions for Him, He would direct me to her...NOT ME. Uh! Why not both, God!? Just her. I am honored to do this. I don't know why He would favor me to take part in such a heavenly realm task. I cry. I cry most days feeling super overwhelmed in His presence.
Day 5: No food-Full Fast
By now God had given me a laundry list of people to intercede on their behalf and pray for...I thought, how long could this possibly go on for? I need more food, God. I started to become prideful and not agree with the list. There were some people I didn't want to pray for and definitely did not want to FAST for them! I started this out for myself and here I am having to pray for others. That morning, I felt the Lord say no food. I CRIED. When I fast, my body and soul is so weakened. I cry over everything out of exhaustion of mind as I lay it down to Christ. All of it. What? No food? I am submitted and surrendered to You in this fast! How am I being disciplined? I am righteously angry for the hardened people you put on my list that don't care about YOU! But He showed me: I do not choose. He does. Even if I am right in my thoughts, He says who and when. That morning I was reading Philippians and came across this--
1:19 For I know that as you pray for me and the Spirit of Jesus Christ helps me, this will lead to my deliverance.
I was in complete shock. Look at that word: deliverance. Right there. Through the prayers. What!? I felt Him saying, "I want you to be a bridge, Phyllis." I could feel I needed to be broken even deeper to be used in my Spiritual Gifts. God has been showing me something since early December and now He is bringing it full circle for His people, the Kingdom.
Day 6: No food-Full Fast
The morning came and I still felt convicted about eating anything. Ok. I can do this. You sustain me. I read in a book this AM: The peace of God passes understanding, at the cost of all your fears. The cost is high: yourself.
I feel good. Sustained. Oddly totally ok. How long, God? I feel down today. Like, I don't understand why He goes so quiet. I don't hear or feel much of anything today. My body feels sad and heavy. Sounds very odd, but I feel a body cleanse. Am I sick? Am I being healed of something that I don't even know I have? Wouldn't You get glory if I was diagnosed first...then You heal?
I kept hearing the Lord saying 27 pushups. It repeated 3 times in my thoughts. Finally, I got up and prayed. Like, is that you, God, and what are you talking about!??? I told Him I had never done that many pushups consecutively in my life! I have barely eaten in 4 days and NO FOOD in the last 2 days. Even if I could, right now I am not nourished to do pushups. But, I got on my knees and started. I went to 28 and laughed. I could have done more. WHAT!? I give you strength.
It was like God is teaching me that He wants me to have no self reliance, just Him. Like, I am not looking to do anything by your power, I am leading you into something new that will be on MINE only.
Day 7: Back to Veg Only
I am kinda bothered that I am losing weight on a fast. I have worked so hard the last few years on Weight Watchers measuring everything that goes into my mouth and work out so hard and these 15 lbs REFUSE to budge. Now, on a fast, I am losing weight? The scale said down 7lbs and then I felt convicted weighing. No more scale, my spirit whispered. I told God, this is ridiculous. He showed me, He gets the glory. I told Him, You get the glory already! I eat well and workout for the body that is Yours! It appears like I don't have self-control being overweight and it appears I don't workout because I don't lose weight! Why wouldn't you change what the problem is with my body/hormones and get the glory?? But He wants all the glory. I feel embarrassed when people notice, I will have to say it's from a fast. That's not fair. Isn't it normal to get recognition for hard work and diligence? Wouldn't the world say that that is normal? But instead, He says on my terms you lose or not. I was just mind-blown by this. Like, how far can You cut me down? You are showing me things that are beyond human eyes. I was so humbled by this. Like, no recognition to me for the work you do. Okkkkk!
I feel like I am being cut down at the knees.
I hear God saying things in my Spirit like:
Go into the trenches
Come down to the ground
I choose, not you
Do as I say and when
Christ did not demand and cling to His rights. He made Himself nothing and I am nothing. Suffer for others. Empty stomach or not, my strength is Christ. My friend Ang emailed me about intersessory prayer is represented by incense in Rev 5:8. They are put in golden bowls with praise. She told me it is very humbling to pray for someone else who doesn't realize what it cost you. In this, we share in suffering. She reminded me to keep in mind Christ's cost and everything we gained! She said that our self is not allowed in the holy of the holies, this is an intimate level. We must press on because this is not natural.
She validated so many things the Lord was telling me already. I am at a place in this fast few draw in to to experience. I kept praying and thanking God that I could even be a part of something so wonderful that HE IS doing.
Today my arms have these cold tingling feelings going down them.
Day 8:
I feel perfect and tingling went away. I took the healthiest poop I have seen in 6-8 weeks! How insane is that? (I don't even know how that is possible).
Day 11: Today
I don't have conviction in eating. I just counted the days and realized today is 11!! I thought it was 10! I kept thinking shouldn't I go to 10, Daniel did 10?? Then, I counted the days and realized I finished 10 ayer. Today I feel like He is showing me to continue with my list, but I don't have to fast. It is super exciting.
I know something new is coming. In the Bible, they are told to purify their camps before God is about to do something crazy. I know that I am coming into a personal ministry with my Spiritual Gifts, I am just not sure of all the details yet. This fast showed me that God wants to do something through me but I need to be willing to be emptied completely in order to do it. As I texted with Luke and Naomi this morning, they both confirmed the same...something is about to change. We all feel pulled to shed away and purify the camp. I can't wait for it all to unfold and you guys get to see it all.
I have only really eaten one meal today and my stomach feels awful. So painful and in knots. It is just awful in multiple ways without details. Fasting felt easier than coming off a 10 day fast. Suffering comes to mind again. But, I know nothing about suffering, even when I want to complain, I am humbled to be silent. Around the world my brothers and sisters in Christ feel suffering at the hands of other religions. That is suffering. This is nothing, but I do feel like one day I will know real hunger and starvation, but I will already know and have experienced, I don't live off bread alone.
