His Plan

The last month has been quite a whirlwind.  Some crazy good things and some not so much.  I am going to my final appointment for a root canal this morning, so this will be short.  This root canal has been in "the process" for over 6 weeks. One doctor started, then quit three quarters of the way because she couldnt figure it out.  Then, the local doctor she sent me to up the street couldn't fix it that day, so i had to wait 2 weeks to see him.  Then, I had to go to Santiago with the boys to get the last treatment.  At one point, the dentist said it is best to just pull it.  I told him (after Trevor yelled through the phone, NO WAY!), that I had never had any pain with the tooth and that pulling it wasn't an option.  I actually was against getting a root canal and aren't so sure I ever needed one to begin with.  They wanted to cut my jaw open to look at the bone because they couldn't see it in the x-ray.  Thankfully, I didn't have to do that either when I got to Santiago.  8-9 x-rays later, he saw the bone and said, "thank goodness we didn't pull that tooth."  Ay yi yi.

My real update this morning is to talk about my team in the DR.  As many of you know God sent me in March of 2012, the Ostbergs in June '12, and the Plankenhorns in Sept '12.  None of us planned this.  None of us were close friends before leaving the USA.  We didn't talk it out and say, "Hey, the 5 of us would be great as a team doing something crazy like fighting human trafficking in a 3rd world country."  Anyone would have picked their closest five to venture onto something like this.  Very seldom had I ever even spoken to them on the phone when I lived in the States.  I knew Luke the most from working as a leader with him on our host team for a few years.  We all churched it together and we went on all the mission trips with Ridgepoint together.  We knew each other, but God chose this team.  People don't see that part in the D.R.  They assume we came up with this plan because we are all from the same church. 

So, I got up super early this morning, 6am, to get some work done for FIGHT before my appointment. And, because my new house has lovely large roosters that start their madness at 4am! My daily prayer is for God's will to be for them to die.  I really do pray that.  Anyway...

I was rereading my old posts the other day and came across this, written a year ago before the Ostbergs got here...April 6, 2012, exactly a month after I touched ground.

"This is the reason for the email…Trafficking sounds too big.  Too daunting.  I told God that morning and a few nights after that if He can take that cup, please do so and replace it with something else.  I want to do it if He wills, but I don’t think we can do anything with this madness.  We don’t know anything about it!!!  Devil says we cant change crap and I want to believe that jerk a lot of the time!!  But we have told God (the 3 of us) over and over again, this will be of YOU.  We never want to be man powered, ever.  I am jumping ship the second it isn’t Christ centered.  We will seek You on what this will look like, who we will join, how we will live if He pulls us all from teaching after this year, etc.  We live for You, Lord.  YOU WILL PROVIDE FOR YOUR KIDS.  We will stand on that."

And, this was written before we even had final word from God as to what it would look like...and I love this part...before we knew God had planned for the Plankenhorns to be a part of His plan in the DR!  Love it!   Each of us could say we would never pick this team; we don't even know simple things about each other, at least I learn something new daily.  BUT God knew He wanted each of us.  As I sat down to work this morning, I was thinking about each of our skills, talents, and personalities that God made.  Not just made, made for His purpose.  Made for a purpose such as this task He has laid before us.   It seriously amazes me to watch us work together and how the puzzle actually does FIT perfectly even if we didn't think it could.  :)

I am honored to sit in meetings all this week for hours with this team developing this organization that is Holy Spirit led.  Constantly this team is quoting scripture and praying through decisions and encouraging each other along the journey He has for us. 

We had to be obedient to His request of us to leave JCS.  It doesnt make sense to humans.  But we followed the Lord to the DR and we will continue to follow Him where He asks.  If I want to live outside the will of God, I am moving to the USA and living out the Phyllis plan!  Oh, and I had a plan.  God is a little late on the 2.5 children and hot husband, like 4 years late on my plan.  But, I choose to follow and leave my plans aside because I am in so madly in love with the Lord.  His love fills me like nothing else can.

So this is His plan.

When I came to Christ a few years ago, God told me clearly that I do not have plans anymore.  His.  If I want to do His will, I seek Him first.  My love is Him first.  My identity is in Him.  I do as He asks and leave the rest to Him.   First and foremost, even if it doesn't line up with our way of thinking and ways of doing things, the desires of my heart are what He wants me to do to bring Him glory.

I stepped out on faith this past month and thought I was going to have a breakdown.  Here it has passed and I praise His Name for what He has been doing since we surrendered the jobs.  I have a list in my journal of 8 things I told Him that HE HAS TO TAKE CARE OF IF HE is making me quit my job mid year, lose housing, and a salary.  I went to the list yesterday and 6 of the 8 now have dates of when He did it.  Who needs a couch, one of the things not crossed off!???  Planks gave me a chair and two rockers, totally works for me.

I should cross off the couch and date it. 

Ephesians 3:20

As a few of you know God asked us girls to leave JCS, the school we teach at.  With more prayer, tears, and sleepless nights than I could ever communicate to you, we put our notice in at the school on the exact day God told Kathy, Nay, and I.  We have no idea how we are going to support ourselves without a JCS salary and what housing will look like next week because we live in JCS housing.  God has told me to have faith and do it anyway because HE TOLD ME to DO IT.  God provides when we follow as He directs.

I took my journal out that very week God told us to put in the month notice and reread my entries from when I was moving here.  I wanted to remind myself how God took care of me and did miracle after miracle to move me to the Dominican.  I read the day that I wrote "JCS hired me" last year...it happened to be the exact same week I told JCS I was leaving this year.

I was looking at the calendar this week and was talking about Valentine's Day with a colleague when I realized I left Chain of Lakes Elementary the very same week last year.  I need to look in my journal but I AM ALMOST positive my last day is the exact same last day as COLE's.  I had no idea.

I just sat down in my class to write my parent letter letting my students know that I will be leaving next week.  I opened the document I used to leave COLE to see what I wrote.  I clicked on the date to change it...IT WAS EXACTLY TODAY'S DATE!

I literally ran out of my room and went looking for a friend.  Rovian was in the hallway and I told him all the news!  He said, "FIGHT ministries is about to begin!"  I ran to the teacher's lounge and announced it in there with excitement.  I wanted to bust into my roommate's class but she was busy. So I headed home real quick.  I saw Kathy on the way back and told her and we chatted about what is on our prayer list.   I came home and told my other roommate!

In 3 short weeks, God replaced my position.  She will be here next week.  I sit here and type with tears in my eyes in amazement of WHOM I serve and His power and authority.  We still need to fill 2nd grade and I am asking you to pray this week with us.  I know I emailed a bunch of you weeks ago and asked for knee prayers, I am requesting it again.  Take some time each night and devote it to the 2nd grade's position.  HE CAN DO ANYTHING! 

Glory to God for being so freaking awesome!  That's MY KING :)

Jesus said, "Follow Me"

Things are changing here and at a faster pace than I expected the last few weeks.  God is asking for me to put all of my faith into Him and what He is capable of in my life.  Life is about to get flipped upside down soon.  Why is this so difficult when I have already done it once before???

Pieces of my journal this past 2 weeks:

"Sitting in my class on the verge of a God breakdown- DAY 3 of this.  I know big things are ahead and this is the process to get me ready.  I know I am where I am supposed to be-- even in this time of storm.  I remember all of this from when He moved me to the Dominican Republic. I spoke about the story in Matthew for Bible with the kids about how God takes care of the birds and flowers, and had to tell the kids to hold on a minute as my eyes well up with tears.  I know it's true for me, too.  I need to believe.   I come home on lunch break and cry again."

"I really cant believe this week has felt like the first move.  I think this is now my life.  Dying to oneself--AGAIN???? Insane!  A year ago today, I was going through these same emotions."

I cannot even remember the last time I slept soundly.  It was definitely before Christmas time.  I wake up throughout the whole night either sick or praying incessantly.  Last week I had God panic attacks, that's where those two entries, ALONG with many others came.  These aren't earthly panic attacks, they are faith panic attacks.  I've never had a real panic attack and my first God panic attack was when He was moving me here. Your heart races and you are just one with the Lord to help you let go of whatever He has asked of you.  It is always on my knees.  Good tears of wanting to let go of my life and just do His will.  Literally feels like a death.  My own death... to let GO.  Jump, child of Mine, I have this planned out already.  Just take the step!   It is part of the process where He breaks you down.  Literally. 

Twice my roommates asked if everything was okay last week because I went to my room very early several nights in a row.   Mainly because I feel crazy and God is just constantly having me surrender my will for His, which is anything but easy and always includes tears.

Heather texted me earlier today that church reminded her of me.  I told her my faith is seriously sucking lately.  She assured me that it is may be wavering but it doesn't suck.  I could disagree with that.  Love that girl.  She just sent me a text that said, "Faith is knowing there is an ocean when you can only see a stream."  (Hebrews 11:1) The word FAITH is everywhere.  It's the word He is showing me constantly.  If you read this blog enough, it is one way God speaks loudly to me.  I see the same word over and over again to show me something.

I tell God just tell me the answer to ________ and He doesn't.  I am thankful He doesn't.  I would rather Him tell me to get on my knees nightly seeking His will for my life and desperately clinging to His provision.  Before I moved to the DR, I told God to take care of a bunch of things on "my list"  if He wanted me to move here.  He took care of every single thing on the list without my help, at all.  I wrote another list out last week and surrendered it to Him.  This is Your will for my life and these are things You will "work out for the good of those that love Him and are called to His purpose."   (Romans 8:28)


Lastly, we cant understand His ways (Isa 55:9).  We cant say what He would ask and How He works things out.  The world may disagree, but I will always choose to be obedient to what He asks me to do, if even we appear crazy and foolish, which we totally do right now.  Trevor told me at dinner the other night that when I announced I was leaving COLE mid school year last year that it was the stupidest thing he had ever heard, "just finish the year out and move to the DR in the summer."  He gets it now.  He totally gets it now.  He did the same thing and moved his family here.  Jesus said FOLLOW ME (Matt 4:19) and dropped my life and left.  Reminder from the Planks this week, "Follow Me" meant drop your nets and leave. Right then and there.  Follow. Go.  I heard a sermon this past week that said that it was a family business that you were in back then, not just a job, so Peter and Andrew not only stopped right then and there and left, but they left their family high and dry...."at once"

because Jesus said so.