Psalm 4:1 Answer Me When I Call to You...

My BFF, Heather, stole the blog spot this week without asking.  Love it!

Answer me when I call to you, O my righteous God. Give me relief from my distress; be merciful to me and hear my prayer.

Psalm 4:1

That is exactly how I was feeling that night, distressed. Many might think that distressed is an over-exaggeration of the situation, but I don’t. It had been on my heart for a while that I wanted, scratch that, needed to see my friend. We have spent many nights texting or talking over the phone, but I missed her. I was distressed over not being able to see her. I had spent some time checking out my bank account to see if I could make a quick trip to the Dominican Republic over spring break. It just wasn’t in the budget though.

I try not to be selfish about seeing her. She is doing GOD’s work down there. Sometimes she needs to be there, using her resources and time for that. I would tell myself that she is working towards alleviating human trafficking. Human trafficking! These are the people that are suffering, not me. Although the desire to see her makes me feel like I am shouldering my own troubles.

I had a glimmer of hope, though, remembering that it was income tax time. Partly because I knew Phyllis wanted to come home and partly doing it for selfish reasons, I held out hope that she would be able to spend her return on a flight home. “I think taxes were dropped off today” she typed through text, we will hear soon. At this point, I was sure that it was going to work out for me. In a matter of a few days, she would be booking a flight home. Then the news came that she actually OWED money in taxes! Dear Federal Government, she lives off donations, she should not owe you taxes. She no longer uses a single service this tax money is used for. I was super bummed out… as I knew this left no money for a flight home.

I hopped onto Travelocity just to see what the flights were looking like. It would have been perfect to have her home Easter weekend because I had an extra day off that weekend (plus it was my birthday!). There it was, the perfect flight, the times were perfect, the price was great. I texted her and said everything is in alignment except for this stupid tax money.

That is it I said! We need to pray about this. I did not have any other plan. Now… I have come a long way with prayer. It wasn’t that long ago that I only prayed when I saw an ambulance with its emergency lights on. In the last year or so, I started to pray for God to change my feelings. To be more specific, as a teacher, sometimes the kids require more patience than I have. I would pray for just a moment, asking God to help me deal with them in a way that was patient and loving. He always granted my prayers, but this prayer was going to be different. This was going to be the first time in a LONG time that I prayed to God for something monetary. Something that required HIS resources to be directed towards a flight instead of Human Trafficking. Selfish sounding right? But I was desperate! So I did. I closed my eyes and prayed that He would find a way to bring her home. After I prayed I texted her that God is either going to bring her home or change my heart because I felt so peaceful after praying about it. We left it at that.

Around 1 in the morning that night, my cell phone started ringing. I woke up on the last ring and I saw it was Phyllis. I was so disoriented that by the time I thought I should answer it, it was done ringing. I got up to go pee while I was waiting for the message. Now if you know me, you know the severity of ending my slumber. You had better be dying or else you will be dead when I see you again. While I was in the bathroom I thought either she got a flight or she is dying. I came out to a text message and it said “Coming home next month”. I just stopped and read it a couple of times. Seriously GOD?! That is crazy!

A friend’s sister felt convicted to do something for Phyllis with her income tax money. This is what she decided to do last night. Speechless, this act left me speechless. I was even searching for the words to write back to Phyllis.

God answers prayers that even seem selfish. In fact, anytime we are desperate, our prayers probably seem egocentric. I learned last night to pray whatever is on your heart. God will use it for his glory. The scripture says “Answer me when I call you”. God answered me big time. He grew me that night when I awoke from my deep sleep. He showed me that He is my sole provider, he can do anything. He gave me relief from my distress and showed me mercy. While my heart that longed for my friend to come home felt selfish at the time, to God it could be used to His good. 

(I cant friggen wait to see this girl!!) Love from the Dominican!