This morning marked one year since Mama Espinal passed away. Today was also a big day for Jessica, she started Kindergarten at Doulos. She was a little teary eyed in the morning but she pulled herself together by the time we left school. Luke & Naomi came with Daniela and I to visit mom's gravesite. It was a first time for all of us going to a cemetary...and it may just be the last time any of us do that again. Daniela was excited to bring flowers but when we got there she didn't care to stay any longer than putting the flowers on the little ledge of her mom's plot.
I have written about the cemetary here before. They are all above ground unless you can afford an underground, expensive burial (I have been told). Even people who are doctors are sometimes above ground in a secluded building for the family's corpses. There is no organization to the plots unless you have an entire building of bodies. Some have professional writings, some have hand written writings in marker, and some have just a carved in name and date when the cement was wet.
We had been walking around the dilapidated cemetery for a few minutes with no luck of where she was laid to rest. I must admit, the place freaked me out. It was beyond eerie there. We are very professional and neat in the USA with burials and the DR is not the same. I kept reminding myself I don't have to feel bad about where they are laid to rest. Once we die, that is it. Our burial sites are not important...but when we got to Mama Espinal's, I just felt sad to see she had a plot with just her name and date carved into the wet cement.
The dates represent the years that her plot has been paid. August 13, 2013-2018, 5 years.
We celebrated tonight with cupcakes for Mama's 1st Heaven Birthday with Jesus. We prayed and shared things they remembered about Mom: she would tickle them to wake them up, she would kiss and hug them when they were sick, she would give piggyback rides when they were too tired to walk, she would call Daniela "Florinda" (not too sure what that means, but Flor is flower in Spanish), and her favorite color was blue.
We ended the night with Jessi crying that she doesn't want to go to school anymore. She had a bit of a breakdown in the afternoon wanting to go home from school. Luke picked her up for me at school because I had the women's ministry. He said she ran up with a huge hug whispering she has friends! As dinner approached she started to cry that she doesn't want to go back and that I might not pick her up. My kindergarten drop-out said she prayed about it and God said she can't go either. (I died laughing! So did Daniela! But at bedtime when she was begging me and crying not to go, I told her verses that point to God wanting her to get over this fear, He is with her, He is strong when she is weak, etc). For any other K'er I would say, "suck it up, you'll get over it," but as soon as Maria came to jewelry and said she saw staff talking with Jessica because she was crying, my heart sank a little. I know this is a very stressful day. A day of new faces and a new place without Daniela and I. For a kid that has witnessed trauma and lost her entire family in one day, this can be a high-anxiety driven day. A day that could set off little triggers throughout the day that we don't know about, for many reasons (information I gathered from articles on trauma and starting school). You would be a fool to think you can treat Jessica or Daniela like other kids, all the time. Slipping away or not consoling them during their tears of stress/anxiety can be detrimental to healing and their security/trust they have built in me. My spirit was heavy, the kind where you take on another's emotional state in empathy.
We met a friend's mission team a few weeks ago with another organization here and Jessica completely shutdown crying until she fell asleep on my chest. She wouldn't play with the other kids and there was a large group of kids different ages to play with. It is amazing to see the different coping mechanisms in the girls.
All this to say that I have seen Jessica grow leaps and bounds in the two months I have had her. I know that it is because she is in a very stable, safe, routined environment. She has learned how to deal with her anger and use her words instead of her outbursts. I know she likes school and is excited to have friends (something she struggles with making because she is jealous and thinks kids don't want to play with her).
I am very hopeful for her to adjust quickly. Cover her in prayers with me this week. Daniela starts her school next Wednesday and she is excited to get back to school like Ethan and Jessica!
Much love!
I have written about the cemetary here before. They are all above ground unless you can afford an underground, expensive burial (I have been told). Even people who are doctors are sometimes above ground in a secluded building for the family's corpses. There is no organization to the plots unless you have an entire building of bodies. Some have professional writings, some have hand written writings in marker, and some have just a carved in name and date when the cement was wet.
We had been walking around the dilapidated cemetery for a few minutes with no luck of where she was laid to rest. I must admit, the place freaked me out. It was beyond eerie there. We are very professional and neat in the USA with burials and the DR is not the same. I kept reminding myself I don't have to feel bad about where they are laid to rest. Once we die, that is it. Our burial sites are not important...but when we got to Mama Espinal's, I just felt sad to see she had a plot with just her name and date carved into the wet cement.
We celebrated tonight with cupcakes for Mama's 1st Heaven Birthday with Jesus. We prayed and shared things they remembered about Mom: she would tickle them to wake them up, she would kiss and hug them when they were sick, she would give piggyback rides when they were too tired to walk, she would call Daniela "Florinda" (not too sure what that means, but Flor is flower in Spanish), and her favorite color was blue.
We ended the night with Jessi crying that she doesn't want to go to school anymore. She had a bit of a breakdown in the afternoon wanting to go home from school. Luke picked her up for me at school because I had the women's ministry. He said she ran up with a huge hug whispering she has friends! As dinner approached she started to cry that she doesn't want to go back and that I might not pick her up. My kindergarten drop-out said she prayed about it and God said she can't go either. (I died laughing! So did Daniela! But at bedtime when she was begging me and crying not to go, I told her verses that point to God wanting her to get over this fear, He is with her, He is strong when she is weak, etc). For any other K'er I would say, "suck it up, you'll get over it," but as soon as Maria came to jewelry and said she saw staff talking with Jessica because she was crying, my heart sank a little. I know this is a very stressful day. A day of new faces and a new place without Daniela and I. For a kid that has witnessed trauma and lost her entire family in one day, this can be a high-anxiety driven day. A day that could set off little triggers throughout the day that we don't know about, for many reasons (information I gathered from articles on trauma and starting school). You would be a fool to think you can treat Jessica or Daniela like other kids, all the time. Slipping away or not consoling them during their tears of stress/anxiety can be detrimental to healing and their security/trust they have built in me. My spirit was heavy, the kind where you take on another's emotional state in empathy.
We met a friend's mission team a few weeks ago with another organization here and Jessica completely shutdown crying until she fell asleep on my chest. She wouldn't play with the other kids and there was a large group of kids different ages to play with. It is amazing to see the different coping mechanisms in the girls.
All this to say that I have seen Jessica grow leaps and bounds in the two months I have had her. I know that it is because she is in a very stable, safe, routined environment. She has learned how to deal with her anger and use her words instead of her outbursts. I know she likes school and is excited to have friends (something she struggles with making because she is jealous and thinks kids don't want to play with her).
I am very hopeful for her to adjust quickly. Cover her in prayers with me this week. Daniela starts her school next Wednesday and she is excited to get back to school like Ethan and Jessica!
Much love!
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