This is the Stuff That Drives Me Crazy

School is winding down to the end of the year.  We went to a local church's feeding center on Monday for a field trip, and my kiddos ate it up!  It isn't open yet, but we collected and donated some canned goods to help them out for when they do.  Tuesday we started half-days.  Thank goodness!  They are ready for break and SO AM I!  We are able to leave work at 3 for the rest of the week.  Our work day is usually 7:30-4PM.   I left school today at 3 and the power was out.  I figured I would work out while it was out b/c I couldn't do much anyway.  I wasn't really thinking that I would be flipping hot without a fan as the video kicked my butt.  I just kept picturing the freezing cold shower I would take as soon as this bullcrap workout was over.  :)  Ahhhhh.  So, I pop in the shower dripping in sweat...and..the water trinkles out the spout.  Que!!!  Are you kiddddding me?! Nooooooo.  I didn't get out.  I still tried to shower.  Hey, God, pick it up a notch and give me some water, por favor.  NOPE.  ;)  I laugh at this bullcrap because it reminds me of getting stuck in Honduras fully soaped up with the water cut off mid-shower.  Ek, it's fun times, I tell ya.  Oh, my 5 gal of water was out in my shower, but I had some delivered the other day.  I totally should have moved one of them to the shower last night, but I didnt b/c I am a moron...so, I didnt have spare water to use.

So, I took a nap after that because I was still so hot and i could sleep with my wet head to cool down and forget the heat. I woke up at 530 and started dinner.  I was done with working out, napping, showering, and dinner by 630PM...WHO AM I? ;)

So, I went to the vegetable market on Monday and loaded up for the week.  I always forget that I have to carry groceries alllll the way home.  Alyssa flew back to California last week, so I am back to living alone.  I miss her sweet face!  But, I am enjoying Phyllis Time again :)

I got 1 pineapple, 2 libras of string beans, 2 yellow onions, 2 red onions, 2 red bell, 3 limes, 6 large plum toms, and a bunch of cilantro.  This cost about 265 in pesos, so about 6.77 in dollars.  I have made a spray bottle of some local corn oil and water for cooking spray to save some money and it seems to work very well.  All the imported US products are very expensive.  I can survive without these imported items, it will just take some time.  Things, like cleaning items, are expensive, yet I want to purchase them because of their quality.  The cheapest quality cleaning spray is about 5 dollars.  I don't want to skate by on things like that, of course.  But, really, I could make a spray bottle with bleach and water and use that to clean only.  I have purchased Dawn soap because it is good quality, but I think soon I will go back to the DR hard soap in a container.  Sooner or later I will just have to use the no name brands of everything.   Slowly, I'm sure this will be fine.    I am starting to soak my vegetables in bleach water now.  A few weeks ago I was nauseous again and I decided that I wouldn't just wash them in bleach water but let them soak a bit in it for a few minutes.  I even wash the veg/fruits that dont have edible skins, like pineapple.  I just want to be cautious. This is a bit time consuming for cooking and it aggravates me sometimes. HAHA.  I just want to grab an apple and eat it or chop up an onion!!  I try to be good and soak everything when I get it, so I can just get it out of the fridge when I need it.

Randoms:
I cant remember if I wrote these out yet!?  I have a list.  That is a complete lie.  I have hundreds of lists!  :) So, I will add some of the things below that are on random lists/books/notepads.
-People use their lips to point to things or places with a head nod to point to the location of the place.
-They squint their noses to say "what?" instead of how we kinda squint our eyes and cock our heads to say "I dont understand."
-two hands up palms out means, I dont know.  Kinda how we shrug our shoulders.
-When the National Anthem is being played ANYWHERE, you stop immediately to listen and sing.  We do this every morning at flag time.  I see people through the windows stop to be at attention for the music.  I was told if it is playing and you hear it on the streets, you stop.
-My students dont know common nursery rhymes and it cracks me up when I start one and they look at me like what???  I was trying to use Jack and Jill as an example for our story elements worm and they HAD no idea what I was talking about.  I laugh to myself a lot.  My aid, Lydia, and I just look at each other and crack up.  I tried to do the Itsy Bitsy Spider on teh field trip mini-bus, fail.
-We dont have paper towels in teh bathroom, so when we have a spill we use papers from the trash can.    Gracie had a few phonics papers, so she cleaned up her water with the old ones.
-My parents encourage their kids to "hug and kiss Ms Brady" goodbye, I think this is too sweet!  In the States, nevah.  I kiss my kids on the forehead all the time and I never have to email their parents letting them know I accidentally kissed their kid (which i always did in the States to be safe.  Parents never cared in the States, but of course, we dont do that).
-I love that I dont have to iron a thing here.  Line-dried wrinkly clothes are normal :)
-A lot of parents spoon feed their kids up through middle-school.  They enjoy their kids relying on them for everything.
-Someone said I can renew my passport here, so I need to find that out by summer.  Mine exp June 2013 and you have to hand it in to renew it in the States.  I wouldn't be able to fly out to come back if I did it the week I am home after Honduras.
-Mannequins in the stores (for displaying clothing) have VERY different proportions to the US ones.  I can't help but crack up when I see one of these very volumptious mannequins.  Women's bodies are real here.  Wait, not their butts.  You can purchase a booty at La Sirena and I swear everyone has a pair of these undies.  People arent fit here, but they seriously love their bodies, that is for sure.  Women show off everything they have, to put it a nice way.  Even young girls <---bothers me, big time.
-Parents wear things to school that we wouldn't allow in the States, but it is culturally acceptable here. 
-Min days to rent a car is 3.  Why?  I have no idea.
-Grilled chicken at restaurants and shops are nonexistent, I swear.  Fried, fried, fried. Everything fried.
-The comedor sells my students coca-cola, candy, chocolate, donuts, and fried foods at snack time.  I want to scream.  I take that back, I did scream today when I asked a kid what was in her cup and she said soda in Spanish.  I tell them not to buy that stuff, but I am also told that I can't dictate what kids purchase.  

Okay, I think I am going to go practice more Spanish.  I am determined to study more often!!  Listening to Spanish Christian music, reading my Spanish/English Bible, and studying how sentence structure works w Spa seems to be doing the trick.

Romans 8:28

2:06PM  Started on Spanish Break (Last week sometime and just finished it tonight :)

So, after selling a few things to move here and donations, I have settled down and was trying to figure out how to tithe appropriately on what God has given me.  This post isnt about whether to tithe but rather about how much to tithe and exactly what am I tithing on that I have received.  I asked a few Christians I work with (that I trust) what they do with donations, peso checks, etc and how they handle their tithes to get some "takes", and then I emailed 3 leaders in my life asking them what they do/would do in their personal lives.  A few things were still up in the air and one of my leaders said "pray on the ones you arent sure of", so that is what I did.  Sometimes we just like for someone to give us the answer to what to do and sometimes we just need to let God do that.  I think that is what it was saying, either way I wanted to say screw that, just tell me.  :) For weeks I have heard God say give church 800.  I kept putting it aside until I could sit down and try to figure out donations, last paycheck from my school, my student loan payments the Durden's are paying, and some other things.  Roomie and I discussed whether to tithe on the sale of my car or not and we didnt really come to a decision.  We figured I tithed on the money to make monthly payments the last few years already, so why tithe on the final sale of it?  Once again, 800 kept showing up in my head to give.  I kept telling God, I'll sit down and work out the numbers, you are shooting high, Buddy. If you know me I am a C in the DISC model.  And, uhhhh, D when I have to be :)  I didnt know why I kept seeing that number, so I honestly wanted to check out the calculations. 

So, God is also teaching me that He will provide and to just LISTEN.  My whole life now is "just wait and listen."  I love reading the O-team's blog of waiting and listening (http://www.lukeandnaomi.com/).  I find God saying that over and over again---just wait. "You dont even take care of yourself, I ultimately take care of you."  Jesus knows my heart, I will always do as He asks, even if I squirm a little-- the pull to do what He intends is far too great for me to go the other way...even if I hesitate to make a decision.  So, I got up this morning and started to figure out money.  I included what I would tithe on the sale of the car, too, just to see how it all adds up.  This isn't my money.  I do not own it.  I am a steward of what God places in my hand and path.  That being said, I can never give God too much money.  If I want God to take care of me, then I need to do it His way.  I can't say, "I'll handle this" and "God, You can handle that over there."  I want to trust that my Lord is going to direct my every move and provide in all ways, including money.  I would be stupid to want to provide for myself or hold onto money, when HE CAN MAKE IT RAIN cash.  :) 

I forgot, also, I felt God telling me to give to 2 new missionaries at RPC.  I wasn't too sure about that either.  I can want to be generous, but I want to be God directed.   So, I stuck with the amount I felt Him saying and threw it all in the calculator.  The total????  $800.70  I busted out laughing with God.  I turn on Pete Wilson's latest sermon and it is about money.  Ha.  I havent listened to this pastor in 3 months since I moved here.  The very morning I pray about all this and there it is :) 

I thank Him for validating that I hear Him.  I know I do, but sometimes He talks in a manner I am still learning.  If I rely on my Spirit for wisdom and guidance, I need to learn that when He says wait or do this, HE MEANS wait!  Or, do this!   I pray (talk) to God telling Him that I want what He wants for me.  I want to do what He wants for me to bring Him the woot! woot! the Look at how awesome HE IS!! 

Side-note:  I cant say that everyone can rely on feelings and thoughts as sound judgement.  You have to use your own call with that one.  Charles Stanley said that you cant use your conscience to guide you until you are tapped into the HS.  We live in a society of self-satisfaction and self-reliance, watching out for #1, climbing that ladder, and gratifying our wants.  We can't just satisfy the hunger we have, even if it feels so natural to do so.  That is still hard for me to grasp.  But, I believe Christ transforms us to something new and we are capable of not giving in.

So, I have learned that I know that if I feel a "pause,"  I have to back off and stop.  It is God.  He has placed it there for a reason.  No doubts, He is DOING SOMETHING.  Even if it appears to be the best opportunity and it's perfect!  I can't do it.  I have had this happen twice in the past month and I am thankful that God is teaching me this right now when my vision is in the baby stages.  I need to get this down to do EXACTLY as He ordains with what is to come.  I will screw it up with my own plans.  I will never be able to do the things He can orchestrate. Even if something "looks right," is the "right price," or a "door opened," I am learning I am not suppose to just walk through because it seems so right.  If He pauses me to wait, I have to do just that.  Sometimes, I holler up to the sky asking WHY?  This doesn't make sense!  Let me proceed!  Lift the "no" pressure or the "wait!"  Thankfully, He doesn't UNTIL He is ready and usually when I have learned to do as He asked.

He is working something ELSE out.  Something that is in line with His will and I am glad He never listens to me.  Romans 8:28.  I believe that if I follow Him with all decisions, He will work it out for His purpose.  He said He will, and... well, He has. 

He will.

None but YOU

None but YOU

If nothing else
There’s nothing left to give to You
One thousand times i’ve said,  i’d try my best
Only to lose
But You take me as i come
And You are the only One
Forgive me for giving myself away to anything that calls my name 
There is none but You 
Through my desperate measures  
You show love that cannot be severed 
There is none but You
Just one more chance
The same request
You’ve heard it before
So many times You give
Yet i return asking for more
When You show me who You are, Lord
You break into my heart
None but You
You are all i need
All i need
There is none but You

-Jessa Anderson

Blaring her this morning and just smiling and chatting with my Lord over some coffee :)
<3  God is so good   ::big grin::

Matthew 6:25-31

Started 11:33AM

PE Break 11:20-11:50AM

I am in the process of learning something with my Lord.  I love when He does this.  I love to grow and know Him more and more. If you are never out of your comfort zone, you cant be stretched to live by faith.  I love that sometimes it is something He is teaching me for the future and He uses something simple as Him telling me to pause until He says go.  He has been telling me wait on flights home and back to the DR with the Ostbergs.  I cant pinpoint all of the reasons but I know some.  I woke up today and I didnt have the "pause" feeling.  Feeling isnt the right word to use.  God was telling me don't buy flights until I give the "go ahead."  I get frustrated with Him.  I shout up to the ceiling asking, "What are you doing!? There is no reason to stop me on flights."  He lets me be an absolute brat.  I am still learning to not act without Him giving me permission to do so.  I dont mind the process; I am so glad he can use something simple like a flight to teach me to hear Him.  He has to do this to get me ready.  I want to be ready when the time comes.   I just need to follow what He is saying.  Stretching is sometimes very difficult, but I also appreciate Him slowly teaching me things as I go along following Him.  I think being a missionary is difficult because the American way is thrown out.  Completely.  But, uh...this is all I know, Lord.  How can You say that that isn't the path for me?? The idea of having to move again and again doesn't feel normal.  Well, not by the standards of our society.  Here in the DR, it is normal.  I wondered why I had been in a few homes and it wasn't decorated much.  I can see now that you move "here and there" following God.  That isn't to say that I think God is moving me all over the DR, but I do know that another move is coming.  Maybe sooner than I thought.  I really love Jarabacoa.  I was sitting in the sun reading yesterday and it felt like a mix of the Florida HOT sun and the NY fall breeze.  I just kept thanking the Lord for how awesome it was out there!!  I feel like it is a reward for following as He says.  I came here thinking I was going to be miserable bc everything would be so different.  That isn't the case.  I love it here.  I thank Him for all of it because it stretched me so much-- having to just leap into whatever it was going to be here and not knowing anyone/thing.

This past week I had been asking God to help me let go of American life.  The culture, or ways, in which we do things.  I was asking God how long would I be doing this?  What about my retirement?  How do I save for the future to come?  How will I move from place to place and not be at a stable location like we have set forth in OUR American way of life?  What if donations ever run out?  What if people aren't so giving years from today?  He reminds me OFTEN, that that is NO longer something I NEED to figure out.  That is NOW His job.  "Hunnie, you said yes.  You said here I am:  mind, body, and soul.  Now, I am in the driver seat." So, I can take Him up on some Matt 6:25-34 because I am choosing to always follow as He directs.  He cant be wrong.   He will do what He says He will do. 

11:20PM
In bed typing

There is a timeline of what you need to do to keep up-- to be in with the NORM.  This isnt it. That is hard for me to grasp. I dont know how long I will be teaching, but I dont feel like it is much longer.  So, Lord, I got a degree for nothing?  He has told me that that isn't true.  He doesnt think the way I think.  My degree is what ultimatedly got me to the DR, so if that is all He wanted my degree to do was to move me here, then mission accomplished.  He is God.  He can do that.  He can say, "6 yrs teaching and you are done.  Onto something else I have for you to bring Me glory.  This isn't about you, Phyllis."  Dear God, I am pretty sure we have set up a world that says it is most definitely about ourselves.  I want to remind God that I am suppose to retire from the same school I have been at for 30 something years, etc.  That is what we do, Father. That is what we do. 

So, I didnt have any money for my Santiago mission trip ground costs a few days ago.  I told God that I would pay for it if He told me to, but that I really didnt want to because it would be a lot of money out of pocket... what if I run out of money one day??  He told me that I am not in control of my money, He is.  I want to believe that so badly, but we all know we need to work hard to get paid.  I have been taking care of myself for many, many years.  I dont know what it is like to not pay every bill alone.  I put myself through school and now, You are telling me to sit back and watch You pay for everything?  Insane.  Especially, when we are talking about 1,000 dollars for a mission trip that I needed, like, last Saturday.  I woke up this morning and was listening to a sermon while I got ready.  After that one finished, another one started to play.  I went into the kitchen to shut it off b/c I didnt know the speaker and I don't listen to Pastors I dont know/trust...but I felt God saying, "listen."  So, I did.  It was alllll about what I have been talking to Him about--providing for me.  Providing for me no matter what comes my way.  If He tells me to do it, He will provide everything I need to accomplish the task.  Emotionally, spiritually, physically, and FINANCIALLY.  Guess what happened today?  In a matter of 24 hrs, that cost was covered for me BY God, through people.  He knows I trembled a little saying I would give up that money (surrendered), but He also knows my heart and that I am in love with Him.  He knows that although I may tremble as I try to walk, I WANT to trust in Him to guide me in each step bc I will sink without Him.  I told Him yes, I will pay for it... and then, He gave me the money in another way.  Why?  Half the time, I don't even know. 

His ways are higher.  Different.  He will always do things in a way that points straight to Him.  In a way that we can only say, holy monkeys, that is God!  Sometimes, I EVEN say holy monkeys!! And, sometimes, I read a text from my pastor and sit on the couch to catch my breath because God really does what He says He will do.  

"You lead, I follow.  Your hands hold my tomorrow.  Your grip, Your grace, You know the way, You guide me tenderly."  -Jamie Grace  My students love to sing that song. Amen.  I do, too.

Election Day

They are about to announce the winner of the Presidential Election.  I am sitting on the dining room floor typing to stay low from the windows.  I dont know if that is extreme but I know a man was shot by a stray bullet about 30 mins away in a restaurant, so I will sit down here for a little while until I see what happens.  My house tends to have a lot of traffic going up it and motos stop to talk to one another right in front of our house for some reason.

The two running are:  Llego Papa and Danilo.  In this country, people go by their first names (my students have no idea how to spell their last names, they just put their first name on their papers).  Danilo's last name is Medina and he is the Dominican Liberation Party (DLP).  He was Secretary of State for 2 terms in his career.   Llego Papa's name is Hipolito Mejia.  Both of these men ran against one another in the 2000 Elections and Hipolito won.  

Voting started at 6AM and ended at 6PM.  You have to be 18 to vote.   I hear that voting is done at schools, but I am not too sure.  They had a ban on alcohol sales that started yesterday at 6AM and ended tonight at 9PM.  I'm not too sure if they enforce it or not.  This doesn't help with the violence.  They are getting drunk anyways.  This country drinks a lot from what I see.  You SELDOM see a smoker because it is frowned upon, but drivers are often seen with a bottle in hand.   Workers have a bottle in their hand.  I've seen people open a bottle and make a drink in a grocery store before they even purchased it.  They have the largest bottles of liquor I HAVE EVER seen in my life in the supermarkets.

The election parades are so crazy because people are in the streets drinking like crazy.  I think there has been about 4 reported deaths surrounding the election so far.  I found out last night from one of the students at my school (she was over for dinner with her sister) that the reason it seems like everyone is very involved in whom wins presidency is because they are betting on the winners.  I thought they had money in the candidates.  Instead, they have turned the election into a huge gambling fiasco.  When one team wins, the others become crazy seeking to collect on their bets.  Add lots of alcohol and things are out of hand.  

We are told to stay indoors today and tomorrow.  They have cancelled school, which is normal for the day after elections b/c of the violence.  There have been times where they have closed school for 4 days after b/c of problems, so we will see if we have school the rest of the week.

Salvation is Once and Forever. Surrender is Daily.

Monday, May 7, 2012

Started on break at school for PE/ART

11:21AM

The last few days I have been so off.    God and I were off for a few days.  He is never off.  I was off. There are so many celebrations going on at home this past week with birthdays and graduations, and I just wanted to be home in FL this week.   As Heather texted me Saturday that she was having a great time at Linds and Luke’s surprise birthday party, my heart sank a little.  All of my friends are gathering for a dinner and I am not there.  Uh.  It didn’t even make sense.  I am not sociable by any means, but when all my friends are together, I am in.  Not that night.  Hmm.  Then Sunday, church was incredible with baptisms and the Ostberg’s speaking with Pastor Timm.  Once again, not there. 

Today Heather graduates and I so wish I could be there.  I crawled in bed Saturday night and my first real tears fell.  A little home-sick.  Wow, first taste of that. Not a want to stay in FL, just to beam back there for the week to be a part of it all and see these incredible milestones.  So, I just let those tears flow.  I wiped some and let the others just stream down my temples to absorb in my hair as I prayed to God that I love Him so much and this is exactly where I want to be, yet today I just want Him to let me be.  Let me complain (nice way of putting it) and ignore me at the same time, God.  Let me just lay here and pour my heart out to You, Lord, even if I am above and beyond talking crap to the Lord of the Universe.  He let’s me.  I don’t even ask Him to calm me because I would rather let the tears flow.  So, there was this pull to be back in my comfort zone, home.  USA.  I still don’t believe I don’t live there anymore.  I still feel like I may never call that home again.

So Sunday morning comes and I wake up at 7:30AM.  Made some coffee and prayed/talked with God for a while asking Him to strip Naomi and Luke of themselves for this sermon that would be starting in a few hours.  Speak for them, Lord.  SHINE through them.  Say what You want to say using them.  If they try to control the sermon, don’t let them.  Let all their words be of You.  On and off, I prayed this Romans 8:26 prayer of rambles that I don’t know what the heck I’m saying but just letting the HS do it for me.  Constantly reminding God that He told Moses that He would speak for Him in Exodus 4:11-12.  My Bible has 2/16/12 written next to this verse.  This is the verse God told me when I told Him to speak for me in my phone interview to the school I work at now.  I was hired after I told the school, “I can’t tell you that I want to move to your country, let alone that I want to work at your school.  I am just following the Lord where He tells me to go.  I love my school, team, and class.  I would prefer to stay here, I am very happy here.”  They hired me even though I told them I didn’t want to work there in my interview with the Director.  What the heck, God!!??  :) 

So I tell roomie to pray for them this morning.  We get a moto to church and I pray a few times on the way there.  I pray before service starts.  I feel like God has got to be sick of hearing this prayer, yet He prompts the HS to keep praying it over and over again in me, so I do. 

Church starts.  For the first time at church, I saw the Everything Skit to some Lighthouse song that is incredible.  We had visitors at church, a US college in Michigan.  All morning I am just saturated in the HS and I realize, I need to just give up all this crap I’m dwelling on and ask to be stripped too this morning.  Freaking remove all this crap from me, God.  Ugh, how we seem to meet at this place, again.   All the things on my timeline, the Lord isn’t completing.  Removing some things in my immediate path and adding a few.  I like to play give one take one with God.  Hey, Buddy, I did this…  Now, I get a request??  Maybe.    I watched the skit and realized it is this constant pull coming from the world.   I want nothing more than to follow the Lord and what He says is my next step.  Trusting in Him alone.  Yet, I get caught up in this world and how people don’t live relying on Him for everything.  “You’re all I want. You are all I need. You’re everything.  You’re everything.”  Repeating in lyrics and faster… “How can I stand here with You and not be moved by You!  Would You tell me how could it be any better than this!”  All I can do is let tears flow.  Holy Spirit tears this time.  Wrapped in a love that is ineffable.  You are incredible, Lord.  And the craziest part is I get to be a part of this plan you are making a masterpiece out of it to glorify YOU, even if I don’t understand Your mighty ways (Isa 55:8-9).. even if I want to still hold onto a life I wanted/want to direct and lead with my selfish desires and wants. 

Luke said in service yesterday that “salvation is once and forever.  Surrender is daily.”  Nice job on that, God.  Way to speak that to them through Luke, Papa.  Then it hit me yesterday.  He was talking to me, too.  Oh. That is the problem.  Daily.  Today.  Right now.  I got in bed last night and I had, yet again, tears flowing on my temples.  Good tears.  Like if you have never felt the love of Christ like this, tell Him right this second you want it!!  You’re missing out on the best. 

So I was texting Nay at like 11PM telling her that I am in awe of how He takes care of me.  How could I ever want anything else?  How do I dwell on America?  I do not worry in this place.  Coming to Christ, surrendering to coming here, and then moving here were the best decisions I ever made. 

His path is different. 

I couldn’t even explain it to her.  I told her she will just have to see when she gets here what I mean when you take that leap of faith that He will do what He says He will.  I never have to worry about what I am doing tomorrow, next year, in 5 years.   I handed this life to God.  Consequences from here on out are His to claim as I follow Him.  I don’t need to figure it out, He will.  He spoke clearly for weeks to get me here, I am going where He tells me to.

I will continue to struggle living in this world, but I tell God to remind me how freaking sweet it is under His umbrella and I smile this crap-eating grin cause I know very well what that means :)  It cant be any better than this!!

I told Nay, “I am excited I get to be SECURED in His protection to carry out His plans.  Never felt that before HERE.”   Everyone knows I was like day/night when I accepted Christ as Savior.  I‘ve known HIM for years now.   Like Nay said in the sermon, “I just know Him differently now and I don’t ever want to go back. If anything, I wish I did it sooner.”  Ahhhhhhhh, Amen, sister.

Naomi asked if I was just feeling this secure feeling now, tonight?  I said no.  Since I got on that plane in MIA to come to Santiago.  Getting on that plane, I changed.

Life changed.

Cont..Traveling to Santiago

E took the car back early this morning and we didn't have to pay any money to replace the tire.  Thanks, God :)

The Power and Authority in Christ

Before I left the States, God kept showing me that there is "power/authority" with the Holy Spirit living in me.  I kept asking Big Papa to show me what that means.  Nothing clear but He would show me in scripture, books, and sermons I would listen to, and yet I still couldn't wrap my head around it.  He just kept telling me to seek Him for it.  Okey dokey, Papa.  So, I still don't know exactly what that looks like for a Christ follower but He told me that I would need to learn about it do His will here.  Tonight, I got a taste of what He is talking about.   We rented a car for the weekend.  It is Labor Day today for the DR.  I have a lot to say about our weekend in Bayahibe, but for now I will talk about what happened in Santiago.  Our car had so many problems, to say the least.  As we headed home from La Sirena, DR Wal-Mart, we heard a noise.  We had an open area to the side of the road, so we pulled off and roomie and I jumped out to check it out.  Our tire is completely shot.  It was about 6:30 and the sun was going down, but we still had light.  Okay, fine.  I have changed a tire with a friend before.  We can do this, I thought.  Nope.  The lug wrench doesn't work on the tire.  Wow.  So a man stops to help and he tells us he will be back soon with another wrench from home.  In the meantime, I decide to screw with it.  Roomie tried to help as we take turns trying to rig it to move them.  Nope.  A police officer pulls up on a moto.  These guys are pretty much worthless.  I felt no safer having this guy stop and help the pretty white girls.   I just kept praying, "God, we are Your girls, I know you will take care of us."  Repeat. Repeat. So, this officer wasn't happy and he was actually pretty creepy.  Even though I was messing with the tire, he didnt really care to help.  I think he wanted to just get some money out of us for trying to help.  White people= money, or at least, that is what they think.  So, he takes over trying to help with his huge gun up against his leg as he is now trying to jump on the wrench.  This is insane.  Put the gun down already before you drop it and it shoots us by accident. Guns are common and I have started to wonder if any of them are even loaded by the way they carry them so nonchalantly.  So I hear God say "walk closer to the road," and I saunter over not really knowing what He wants me to do.  So I stare at cars driving by as I ask, "Lord, help us find someone to help us.  Take control of this situation."  I didn't have fear, I just wanted off the side of the road with random Dominican men.  If anything, He has given me this incredible sense to fight, no flight.  I dont even understand the balls I have had since I got to this country.  So I say,  "God, give us wifi.  Let me text my dad or one of my brothers and we can get this wrench to do the job.  They always know what to do!  God said, "You dont need them."  Yes, I do!!  "You have Me."  Oh, Papa.  Ohhh..kay. I look up from daydreaming in my rambles to God and see a white car coming.  In my head I say, "Lord, stop this car to help us.  IN THE NAME OF JESUS CHRIST, man driving this car, stop and help us."  The car passes.  I see brake lights.  I wave for him to come back.  He pulls off and comes back.  OH MY GOSH, are you freaking kidding me, GOD!! He is driving an older Honda.  We are driving a Honda, too.  He gets out and tells us he has what we need.  He also has 2 jacks in his trunk.  He is dressed well and is Asian/Dominican mixed.  He is probably about 45 years old.  He has a ring on.  He isn't flirty.  He didn't look not one of us up and down like the others did.  He got to work.  This is what He was talking about.  My God.  My King.  I almost feel shaky inside.  Tears filled up my eyes and one of the girls asked if I was scared with the situation.  I said no.  These are peaceful tears.  I told them what happened as my voice cracked and tears welled up.  So, he works on the car and roomie gets a flashlight to help. I got the pair of shorts I bought that day for him to put under his knees b/c I noticed he was putting the other wrench under it, so he wouldnt get himself dirty.  He said no thanks but then used it.   I helped hold the tire in place after he gets the other off and roomie has the light going.  The cop is barely doing anything but being very creepy.  He held the tire with me a few times but really could have just left but I know he is there to collect money for helping.  We finish and God tells me to ask him how much he wants for helping.  God tells me before we even ask that HE WILL NOT ACCEPT any money for helping.  The whole time E is telling us that we have to pay all these men some pesos for helping.  I really don't care.  My money comes from God.  God says give it, I give it.  So, Bennito looks up and says in Spanish, "Oh no, no money.  You do not have to pay me for this."  I am pretty sure I am going to hysterically start crying to his response.  This isn't common and this took up so much time b/c the tire wouldn't flipping come off.  Oh, and when the tire was a pain in the butt, I asked God to be his strength and move the lugs...What happened next??  The lugs started moving.  Of course.  E speaks with him and I told the girls that God told me he wouldn't be accepting money for this.  I tell E to ask if Bennito knows Jesus Christ.  He goes on to tell her that he believes in some sort of God and that he knows he isn't ready right now.  I told E to translate that he doesn't need to do anything, that Jesus makes it right.  Jesus is all you need.  They talked about things I couldn't understand. I tell E to ask why he stopped to help and he just said because he saw that we needed him.   We say goodbye. Mr. cop is lingering and we dont over money.  We start to pass  Bennito washing his hands outside his car and E tells me how to say Jesus loves you.  He said Amen.  I screamed MUCHO!!!!  :)  He laughed.  I prayed in the car, "Lord, reveal yourself to that man!!  Save Him!  Help Him to come to Christ tonight!"  We put on our hazards and slowly went on our way.  We hear a beep, beep along side after a minute or two.  It is Bennito.  He gets in front of us with his hazards and is leading our way to La Vega.  Our spare tire wasn't a donut, but it was just as awful as this horrible tire that busted, so he said we have to go slowly bc this one is just as bad.  ARE YOU KIDDING ME?? I told the girls this is Jesus taking control.  This is God taking care of His girls.  Are you telling me a man that doesn't claim the Name, that has a wife at home, maybe kids, that is dressed nicely, took up 2 hrs of his night to help strangers, and IS NOW going to lead us SLOWLY to Vega!!  This is shear madness.  Oh, and won't accept money in a country that is always looking for money for everything they do.  What!?  I cried in the car a few times.  I don't believe it.  Thank you, Lord.  Just when I think I can't possibly feel another ounce of love from the Lord, He shows me that He is more than I will ever understand or know.  That He loves me (and you) more than I could ever imagine.  As tears flow down my face, He says, "You continue to do as I tell you to do and I will always lead and take care of you."  So I sit back and smile... and feel this love that is unspeakable.  Love that I wish would never go away b/c it is so euphoric.  I find myself saying I love you Lord so many times that I dont know how many exactly.  I sound crazy to those of you that haven't felt filled with the Holy Spirit.  To those of you reading this that have felt that love, you think, "I freaking know!  It is so amazing!!  I wish i could always feel that!"  I freaking love HIM!!  He is so incredible.  More than enough.  He is enough.  Bennito, thank you for taking me to a new level with Jesus.  Jesus, thank you for letting me know you the way I do.  I am in.  All in for You.  Oh, yea.  I am reading this Christian parenting book that is helping me discipline my students in a Christian focused way.  The author mentioned about how we teach our kids that if they do as we know is best, they are under our umbrella of safety. As soon as kids decide not to listen and make choices outside of what we know is best, then they are not under our umbrella and things can happen that we cant control b/c they didn't listen.  God said, "just stay under My umbrella.  I got this.  When you make your own choices/decisions, you aren't covered anymore and the consequences are yours, not Mine."  I can't worry about this life.  I lost control of it the day I got on that plane here.  I wrote in my journal from TPA to MIA with tears flowing down my face as I tried desperately to hold on to this life and wanting to whole-heartedly to follow the Lord at the same time, "today, I learn what it means to die to yourself."  I never cried another tear of my heart feeling like it was a rubberband.  Still haven't.  Done.