Honduras Day 3

Journal Entry
5AM (When God woke me up about talking to Lindsey in Day 2's Entry!)

Papa, ::heart drawn::

We thank You for choosing us.  We thank You for working out every obstacle to get each of us here.  We know You meet each of us right where we are.  We each have our own struggles and we ask, Lord, to remind us to run to You first.  That we can always find rest in Your giant hands to scoop us up and lay on Your chest for comfort.  You are our rock and refuge.  Break each of us down so that You can  mold us to be kids that are pleasing in our thoughts and actions.  We thank You for all the changes that are happening w/in each of us this week as You draw us closer to You!!  We will never understand the Y's of life but WE know that You are in control and bring good out of everything and bring glory for You, along with for our growth towards surrender.  Help me to be a better person.  Help me to love others.  Help me to surrender revenge.

Thank You for going before us.  You already know what is to come.  Help us to SHINE.  We want to desperately be a team that leaves here leaving the town in AWE of YOUR work that we displayed  POINTING TO YOU!!!! ::HUGE heart drawn::

(Later this night, Pastor Timm asked for someone to pray as I was lounging back in my chair.  I told God "not me.  I am not praying, stop telling me to do it.  I dont want to, it makes me nervous. Nope.  choose another kid in this room."  I SWEAR,  I sat up at the same time hollering, "I'LL DO IT."  Are you kidding me, God!???  I said NOOoooooo.  I had no choice at that point but to say something. 

Oh, how I love Him!  Ha!

Honduras Day 2 Journal Entry/Thoughts

These last few weeks have definitely been crazy.  Crazy spiritually, emotionally, physically, and any other word that can end in -LY!  In the span of about 2 weeks, I was in 3 countries.

I figured I would take a few minutes and sum up the Honduras Mission Trip '12 with RidgePoint Church of Winter Haven, Florida.  I wrote in my journal a bit at night and scribbled thoughts of papers when I didnt have it with me, so this is what I wrote all thrown together:
note words in ()  are added to the journal entry right now to explain in detail my thoughts...

Day 2:
Crazy day today.  I am just unsure of so many things.  One would think I wouldnt be so shocked here, but I am.  Uhhhh,....this place makes me sad.  Yesterday, I prayed INCESSANTLY.

(Rambling all day long to God to be be with us, to watch over us, to grow all the new people that were on a mission trip for the first time; just about anything I could spit out of my Spirit, I was praying for.  I couldnt think about anything else other than praying to God for whatever the heck was going on/about to happen/...I had no idea, really.  I wanted out of my own head because I couldnt focus on anything.  God just kept prompting me to pray, pray, pray.  These kinds of prayers are complicated.  They don't make sense and I do not understand (fully) why the Holy Spirit goes nuts praying.  These wacko prayers started before my move to the DR and usually happened at night when I was sleeping.  I would wake up praying out of sleep, like rolling over and feeling the need to pray. Usually I say things I dont even think about, as if it is not controlled by me.  I hate even writing that because I sound like a NUTcase.  Sometimes, I tell God "just do whatever You Will,  WHY do you need me to pray!??"  Thank goodness God is the best parent ever.  I would trip myself up for talking smack to the Lord of the Universe.  So, I scrambled all day looking for a verse with Belinda.  I found Psalms: 4:8 In peace I will lie down and sleep,  for you alone, O Lord, will keep me safe.  Im sure you saw that verse on Facebook that day we committed to practicing it for the trip).

So, today we hit a lady with our bus.  Traumatic.  Lord, if I was feeling bad, then why pray if we still hit her??  We wont know-- I dont know what it is really like from this stand-point.  What could have been if I hadn't prayed over and over again yesterday?  (She was released from the hospital that night.  We think she may have been drunk or high bc she wasnt walking straight.  Our bus why trying to swerve over but couldnt because a car was in the way)

I looked up from my seat and saw Lindsey whisper to Randal, in tears, that she was worried about the Honduran police at the accident scene, among other things.  Oh, it broke my heart.  Her first time on a trip and I could see fear gripping her tightly.   "In the Name of Jesus, dont let them on the bus!" (I said with all I could muster from the depths of my heart to MY Lord.)  I waited and pleaded for the Lord to do that for His kids.  They didnt come on :)  I just love the Lord. 

When we got to the restaurant for dinner, there was a guitar man that lightened the mood.  I thanked God over and over again as we laughed and sang along to the American songs he tried to sing.  For some reason, HE and ONLY HE (the Lord) wanted us to not be down, so He sent this singer that made dinner so memorable and calmed our hearts of fear, anxiety, etc.

Thankful.

(God kept telling me that night to tell Linds that there was power in His name, that we dont just casually end prayers  "In Jesus' Name."  I didnt want to.  I was too embarrassed to approach her.  So I didnt pull her aside.  You better believe the next morning He woke me up early and told me again to tell her.  I decided to do it this time bc He wouldnt leave me alone.  I love that He loves her so much that He would demand I give her a message/tell her something.  He does not relent sometimes.  I am embarrassed of myself when I get embarrassed to tell people things He has led me to say.  If that makes any sense at all.)

I Will Be

So one way that God speaks to me is through music.  I can listen to 2Pac and hear the love/story of Christ in the lyrics.  I love music. Of course the Lord would use it.  So, I have a very old Dell Ditty ipod thingy that I found as I was rummaging through my crap to pack, so I took it with me to jog/walk.  Who knows what is on that thing??

I step outside and the wind is going wild.  LOVE IT.  We are having some nutty tropical storm in FL right now, the clouds are moving rapidly. I quickly walked a few laps just rambling to God.  Celine Dion's song Im Alive came on and I picked it up a notch.  I love that song.  Everything about it reminds me of Christ. The wind totally kissed my shoulders as I jogged and poured my little heart out to the Lord.  I instantly felt wrapped in His love.  Man, do I love the LORD!! The wind is my favorite.  I had my hair in a bun but pulled it out to let it go crazy in the storm winds.  Thanks, God, for the wind!! I love that feeling in your lungs :)

I tend to look up to the sky as I talk with God.  I love the moon and stars <3 I looked up as I rounded the corner and asked the Lord if He would let me not be so vigilant of my surroundings and let me just jog and breathe Him in without having to be on guard of a nutjob lurking around.  Then I just decided to go on faith that He will watch over me, so I can just give my burdens to Him to carry for the evening as I rest in Him.

The next lap around the clouds moved.   The clouds were shaped like hands towards the moon and I smiled as i said, "are those Your hands?"  Joking with God.  Deep breath.   I jumped into those giant hands mentally.   I smiled up and said, "I know I am a pain in Your butt, Papa, I'm sorry.....(sigh).....but You know I LOVE YOU and just want to follow You all of my days."  Not expecting it, He said "I love you, too."  I busted out laughing and saying "Lord, I know that" :) I just kept laughing and smiling. I couldnt stop giggling.  If one of the neighbors were out, they definitely think I am crazy.   If there is one thing I do not doubt it is that the Lord of the Universe loves me.  No questioning that...  He is in love with this kid of His.  I was tired and asked Him to carry me one more lap (nothing about this body yells runner, so yes, I die after a few laps and need to walk some more).  He did.   I tell Him I wish we all knew Him like I know Him.  I wish we all could get high on Your Love.  He says we all can.  I say a blanket prayer for todos.

Great talk with the Creator tonight.  I heard exactly what I needed to hear.


One of the songs was something I downloaded yearssssssss ago when I first started to come to Christ, Natalie Grant's I Will Be.  It was so loud and perfect.  I didnt even remember it.

One heart, one voice
Living out love in this world of noise
My dream and my joy
Giving you all I have made a choice
Desperately I'm waiting
To answer your calling

[Chorus:]
I will be a candle in the darkness
I will be the hand of heaven above
I will be a mirror that reflects your
Endless love
I will be the hope among the hopeless
Where there is conflict I will be peace
Only by the power of your spirit that's living in me
I will be

Your heart, your plan
Give me your eyes help me understand
My feet, my hands
Holding out living hope to every man
Knowing what you've made me
With every single heartbeat

Gracious, Gentle and Kind
Knowing that your love will shine
Through mine

This little light of mine, I'm gonna
Let it shine
This little light of mine, yeah

Perfectttttttttt.  But, really, I expect that from our Savior <3

Then,  Wyclef Feat Akon and Lil Wayne  came on singing some Dolla Dolla Bill Ya'll??  song and I cracked up laughing again.  Time to shake it in the street and dance with Jesus.  NO handstands or straddles in the street this time.  Right before Honduras I hurt my lower back trying to do some jumps in the street :)  How does one forget that she is 31 and not 17???  :)  HAHA

Peace.  Get you some of that.
 

Rubber band

Wow.

I remember the first day I got back to the USA, I was ready to get back home to the DR!

Now, I'm packing to go home tonight.

Wow.

Just as hard as it was the first time I packed up in March. 

Going for a jog to chat with our Papa and, really, to put off what I am packing/not packing.  I hate packing!!!!!!  I really hate packing because I cant take everything!

I dont think I could ever put into words the feelings I have about this process; to really love both places, feel right at home in both places, and the feeling of stretching like a rubber band where I am pretty sure my heart is going to rippppppppppppppp out of my chest.

Hmmm.

I knew coming here for a bit would be hard.  

I told God tonight He picked "a crazy" to do His work in the DR.  He totally agrees.  :) I used different words talking with Papa Dios but that is a better way to put it to post on here.

On a positive note, I got a bunch of documents together from my banks and the police department to get DR residency :)  I can now drive legally in the DR for the next year with my international driver's license (not that i ever want to drive in that madness) and I ordered a few birth certificates online for the residency process.   Wooo hoooo!

Honduras RPC Mission Trip Day 6

Day 4
A few of us girls headed to the school AFE to see the school and help out with the babies and kids.  It is so amazing to see these kids that were once living and working in the trashdump now thriving and going to school.  Lacey and I took a walk over to the classes as Lyndsey and Kathy loved on some babies. We walked into our first class and they were circled up around a hole in the concrete with one marble.  They were having fun with this hole in the floor.  Lacey and I were just staring at each other in amazement.  I asked what they were up to and they said they didn´t have a teacher yet, she was late. We walked across the hall to see the other class.  We watched the 1st grade Honduran teacher teach her class of 6 kids science.  She did a great job.  I am amazed at how much kids can learn without all the hype that we have in the USA.  I wont bother writing about that today.  So we headed to another room and noticed that there still wasnt a teacher in the class yet so I told Daniela our translator to let them know i could pop in there and teach some thing for the time being, if they wanted me to do that.  They agreed, so Lacey and I went to help.  I had no idea what to do with these 4th graders, so i asked to see one of their science personal notebooks and decided to review a lesson they did on plants.  Daniela helped me to translate to save time.  We made flip books out of the notebook paper that my friend Stout taught me in the States.  We drew the plants on the front and wrote the Spanish and English terms on the inside along with a sentence of what its function is on the plant.  They turned out great!  The kids had to share crayons.  2 of the 13 kids had a few. 

I love when you get high on the Holy Spirit.  My heart smiled as I got to teach them.  At first I was unsure about 4th grade, I have never taught that age before.  K, 1, and 2...that´s it.  God reminded me that He made me a teacher for many reasons and this very minute is one of them.  The kids went to break and  I went to the nursery to love on some babies, too.  Genesis fell asleep in my arms and God reminded me that I am not just holding a baby.  I am holding His baby.  ¨This is My kid.¨  As I smiled rocking this little baby sleeping, that was once being kept in a cardboard box while her mama worked through the trash looking for plastic, I thanked God for what He is doing through Pastor Jeony in this community.  Pastor said that Genesis would stay in the box as her 2 year old sister was on guard to keep her safe next to the box.  She is only 6 months old and has bad asthma.  I rocked her and asked the Lord to help her breathe and clear the asthma from her little body.  Keep her safe, Lord and do great things through this rescue.

Jeony is the kind of Christian that has seen the Lord do unthinkable things. Things that are just impossible for humans to accomplish.  You can sit in front of him and hear the miraculous things God is capable of, over and over again.  I could talk with him for days and never get sick of the stories.  I want to ask him thousands of questions. I get so excited when He speaks because I know whatever flows out is going to have to do with Jesus and I can talk about this forever.  He is trying to publish his stories in Honduras and has hit snags.  (If you know anything about this kind of stuff, send me a message.  This man will have a best seller through the Lord´s work in his life.)   I had a few minutes to catch up with him at the site the other day and he totally recharged me in my journey.  So many things I have been thinking about, he put into perspective for me in minutes.   Luke mentioned in devotionals the other night that he thinks Jeony is a man that turns to the Lord in prayer all the time, and I agree.  He totally expects God to figure it out.  He knows the power and authority of prayer and he rests on the Lord working things out for him to fulfill the vision the Lord put in his heart.  He told us that he was given $80,000 recently to build a new building at the school.  I almost want to laugh every time i think about that.  Only the Lord can do that.  This is a check from a man he doesnt know.  This is a check from a man that has never been to AFE.  This is a check from a man that has never been to Honduras.  This is a check from God providing Jeony´s mission in incredible ways because he is doing what God asked Him to do.

Papa Dios, I praise you for the vision Jeony had years ago to pull Your children out of the trash mountain one by one and try to educate them on the side with small classes. And, now, there is a physical school down the mountain that is growing and growing with children that have an opportunity at life because someone listened to what God told Him to do. 

Jeony said he knew it would be hard. 

He wondered if it would even make a difference. 

BUT HE PUSHED FORWARD (through the doubt.  through the negative remarks that he cant do it) following Jesus´ lead with all of His heart leaving the details to our amazing Lord to figure out.

Every.single.time I see Rene in Honduras, I want to jump up and down (and cry) because he was once in the trash and is now studying civil engineering in COLLEGE.  We love you, Lord.

Help us to JUMP!

Thankful

I got in yesterday afternoon.  In the last 24hrs I have thanked God for:

<3 Being able to brush my teeth without having to tip my 5 gal jug into a cup
<3 Sleeping/living with A/C  (It was on 78 last night and I was freezing)
<3 Water pressure in the shower (heck yeah!!)
<3 Baths (Okay, I started off with a shower, couldnt help but fill up a bath, then showered off.  Seriously.  I am that wasteful after being in a 3rd W the last 3 months.  I'm pathetic.)
<3 Being able to open my mouth in the shower.  This doesnt sound as crazy, but try it next time you shower.  So hard! I yelled Whooooo Hoooooo and just let my mouth fill up with water <---wicked ridiculous and I will admit to it, for sure!
<3 Electricity that is not going out
<3 Salmon.  I made some for lunch today. Oh, how I have missed that stuff.  I am very weary of seafood in the DR.
<3 Electric oven.  I hate lighting the gas.
<3 Matches (I have been confiscating all matches I have found all over the house like a mad person b/c DR matches are horrible.  I have a box of 500?  I light (without breaking) maybe 1 out of every 10.)
<3 Lucky Charms  (bahaha.  I seriously haven't had it in like 10 yrs!  There was a box in my pantry left over from when family was down and I opened that beast up and it was amazing!!)

Open Me

Would You open up eyes, so I can see
Would You open up my ears, so I can hear
Would You open up my mind, so I can know
Would You open up my heart, so I could love You more

I want to serve You, my GOD
I want to give everything
I want to serve You, my KING
I want to serve You, my LORD
I want to give You everything

Here I am with my arms open wide
Asking for You to come up, up inside
Won't You make me new, won't You make me true
Jesus, won't You make me like You

Will You touch my eyes so I can see
Will You touch my ears so I can hear
Will You touch my mind so I can know
Will You touch my heart so I can love You more
Won't You open me

-Shawn McDonald 


He is one of those artists that allow me to tap into the Spirit instantly.  I close my eyes and just smile with the Lord in His freaking awesomeness.  I have so many things to do today to get ready to leave for the States, and then make dinner early for the girls coming over at 3 for Spanish/English lessons.  I'm taking some time this morning just to listen to some music and listen to Him for the weeks ahead. 

I'm at a weird place lately.  Some people said that this happens around 3 months of being out of country.  The things that I was so easy going about have just about starting boiling over the pot!   I know that this is just a part of getting used to the culture of another country, but adapting is hard.  When you go somewhere for a little period of time, you don't experience it in this depth.  I know that when I give it a little more time,  it will be second nature.  I guess this is a bit of a problem, too.  The Americans are just as lax as the Dominicans and I do not understand the "oh, whatev" "not sure"  "maybe"  "i dont know (and not trying to figure it out)"   I feel like I am in my own world lately;  the only person looking around saying in my head, "what the heck is going on!?"  I see now that they have been here for long enough that they just go with the flow, too. This isn't I am right, they are wrong.  It just is what it is.  When you leave for a little while you dont get immersed in it like this.   It isn't shock like I AM IN RIGHT NOW. Every time I talk with Luke and Nay, or Heather, I find myself saying "I am so sorry to sound so negative, BUT"  I just feel crazy lately.  It's different when you are the ONLY person around that is at this stage of the game.  Stop butting me in line!  I have been waiting and now I am not being served again because someone walks up and just busts out his order WHILE I AM TALKING.  I want rules, order, proper protocol, communication, and ways of doing things.  I want definite answers.  Things are very wish-washy.  I AM TOO CALCULATED for that.  I want communication on what is going on and it isn't there.  I find myself saying, "We dont do it like that,"  OFTEN in my head!  Not because I think the American way is the right way but because that is what I know.  What I find rude, like putting the money on the counter instead of in my hand and letting the change fly all over the place so that I have to pick it all up, IS not rude here.  "So the money went flying.  Pick it up."  Learning to deal isn't really the case.  Learning this way and conducting this way is what it comes down to when you now live in another place.

The last few weeks I have had to literally take a step back and just say, I'm out.  I am trying to figure out so many things to make sure upstairs is ready and the electricity/internet/etc isnt shut off and things are replaced that are broken or not working correctly, getting more locks, getting a set of keys, etc and I literally felt like I was going to scream trying to deal with people.  4 different people on at least 8 different occasions.  They don't even get a bill for phone/internet, so how the heck do you figure that out to pay. My bill for electricity is stuck between my gate bars, if the rain/wind hits it while i am gone in the USA, how the heck do I go pay it??  It isn't in my name and I really don't know what the address is here, other than the 2nd house on the right of Candellarios.  I think the bill says the color of the house.  ??   

God told me the other day to knock it off, too.  Here I am flipping out wondering if He is going to get this crap in order for the Ostbergs.  I am questioning God as to why I have to take care of this for Him.  He reminded me that He never told me to do that.  The God that ordered my move and has orchestrated their move to date, is VERY capable.  The God that has answered prayer after prayer.  In the words of Eddily last night, "Ms. Brady, this shows us that God answers prayers."  Amen, little sister.  He is working, NOT ME.  I forgot to ask Him for help and guidance with all of this, instead I was trying to tackle it all.  I didn't even try to have all the answers before I got to this country!!  Heck, I didn't have a place to live.  Why I am freaking about the O team like it is my job to figure life out, is beyond me. I don't even get stressed! If I say I am stressed, my coworkers at COLE knew to start flipping out bc things must be crazy b/c I have said those words MAYBE 5 times in my whole life!  And this was stressing me out!  (I'm talking working for POLK Schools stressed!)    

God got STERN with me saying, "when you choose to make decisions without me telling you, you take away My Power in it and what I am capable of when I direct your steps."  Oh my gosh, I already know that.  Ugh.  How the heck does a Believer that has come this far riding on faith...to a foreign country having no clue what is going on, try to take control?   NO IDEA.  It's stupid.  I want to be able to give the Os answers when they ask and most of the time, I cant b/c communication here is off.  That frustrates me.  Have I ever gone into any of those offices or met with those people and prayed before I went in there??  Nope.  QUE??  I, in no means, want to rob them of blessings trying to figure out upstairs.  Ya know what happened after I let it go and asked God to do it??  I got word of some things that might be in the works.  I don't want to say it just yet b/c it isn't finalized.   If it doesn't work out, it doesnt matter.  He still showed me what He is capable of doing it WITHOUT me JUMPING IN.  Maybe a part of His plan is for them to come here blind to answers.  Faith. 

All in all,  I needed that stress out moment.  I needed a refresher on Whom I am serving and How when I follow Jesus Christ, He has control, not me.  As much as I love the Ostbergs and I want to do it!!, it isn't mine to figure out.  It is my job to be a tool the Lord uses to do it His way.  His way is unlike ours. We know that, yet we want to JUMP the heck out there and get crap done!  We know we can never, ever do what He can do to blow crap out of the water, yet we still try to control crap.  "Oh, Big Padre, feel free to continue to tell me to shut up or STOP, when I do this."

Next time I write, I will be in the USA!  Woooo hoooo.  I am ready for a break for a few days before we hit up some Tayyyygoose! (Tegucigalpa, Honduras) 

Feliz

850PM

Sitting at the kitchen table in shorts and a T...with the fan 12 inches away.  Elissa is on my computer and has the other fan pointed on her.  We just got home from church.  I went to Escuela Caribe alone this morning and Templo Bautista tonight w E.  You definitely get stickers in heaven for attendance like that.   The church van picks us up out on the Ave. It looks like it should seat about 12. I counted 27 tonight. We go around the neighborhoods picking kids up for church.  A few parents come with the kids. Templo does a night service because in the morning Haitians borrow the building for hours of worship. Pastor Jeff is leaving to receive medical treatment for his condition in the States, so we made food to bring and send him off.  I wasnt sure if we had enough food so E and I were going to go to the colmado. Jaci said we did, so we headed there anyway to grab drinks. It was so crammed in the van, I was beyond hot and parched. A Sprite, Gatorade, and an apple juice juice box was 60 pesos.  I'm typing on my Kindle and can't figure that out in dollars. Think more than a dollar and less than 2.  The cooler holding these had a mess of drinks all mixed in a dirty fridge.  There sbout 4 other pple at the store sitting around in chairs, which is very common. I asked for a diet and she told no diet while running her hand down my side saying something about not needing diet. Atleast, i hope she said that. Baha. Girls are thicker here and she was shaking her head. I'm not so sure why she thought it was okay to touch me, but it seemed normal.  I need a diet coke! Why is it so hard to get diet in the stores??  First restaurant in the States I am getting a diet with lemon! Where are the lemons in this country? I haven't seen any at my veggie markets/supermercados that I frequent. 

We go back to church.  My hair is in a ponytail because it is too hot. My hair is longer than I've had it in years (really because of the FL heat, I tend to cut it before summer) and as much as I love it, I think it is time to chop it to stay cooler! Their entire service is all Spanish.  There are two windows on the right side of the church only. Along the very top off the wall is a screen portion about a foot wide with air coming in. The backdoor is open to help air circulate. Everytime a breeze would come through, I could feel it slip up the back of my shirt and I would say, "Thank you,  Jesus." I wasnt being silly.  I was serious! "Thank you for the wind!"  Not too sure if I have ever thanked Him for that this reason.   I kept using my forearm to blot my sweaty face.   My skin was so clammy. Everytime (here or in the USA) I wanted to complain about no a/c or just anything while in church, i hear my Pastor Timm say "we are worshipping God. Music doesnt have to be perfect and you dont have to have everything to your liking.  This is about Jesus." He isnt harsh in his tone in my head, he is just true.  I'm sure I paraphrased that.  If Timm only knew how many times he's told me that!  Haha!  So, we do that whole meet and greet others thing. I love hugging, but strangers arent my thing, and I really can do without the greet the person next to you thing.   I get up anyway and start cheek kissing the other females and shake male hands, unless i already know him, then I'll kiss.  The kids always amaze me how they hug you. They squeeze you like you're related! They aren't shy! This little boy came over first. He rambled 3 sentences in spanish and then said his name and bear hugged the junk out of me. You just squeeze them back, of course, like it is a renunion!  Hey, buddy!  I dont know what the heck he said, but he had a big grin! I told him my name and he thought I said Feliz. I have accepted this new name. My name  is "happy" here.  I tried to get one friend to say it right, but he still can only remember Feliz, so i just say yes when a Hispanic repeats feliz, i smile. Sure. Ill take it.  Oh her name is Happy!

So, this time in church I hear more of what the pastor is saying in Spanish. The first time I came, I was overwhelmed and swore I couldn't church it in Spanish. I think I am good now. I don't get the clear message, but I get main points. It's hard for me to focus. I hear a new word and I try to look it up, and then I've missed the next few sentences.  I will learn.  I am so eager to learn the language. I've spent a few nights staying up late into the night taking notes on Spanish, then hrs during the day studying since school got out.  I've loved this language since 7th grade :) I know a lot of people just make up Spanish sentences with English grammar rules, but I want to speak correctly. So, invited some of the barrio girls from that back neighborhood (i took pics at earlier this week) to come over for dinner. They don't speak English. They take an Eng course at school, but it is public school, not like my school that is English speaking.  I joked with one of the little ones to teach me Spanish and she told me to teach her English. Great idea! So I told them in Spanish, "I'll cook dinner Tuesday and we can start practicing."  I'm excited!

Up or Down

RidgePoint Church just amazes me lately.  I see my old girls’ group just growing in faith by leaps and bounds.  I just want to jump up and down for them as I see them seek Christ.  I am still a part of their FB group, so I get to see what they are up to and stalk the junk out of them with their weekly studies and how they are growing together. 

I get emails and Facebook emails about God challenging other people at RPC and how they are really taking a look at their lives and walk with Christ.  I love hearing it.  I sit in my chair reading them, tears fill my eyes, and I praise our Big Papa for what He is doing!!  I know it is so darn difficult to stop and look at your life and what it means to be a Christ Follower.  To stop and say what is most important to me?  If it really is Christ and people knowing Christ, then what do I really do about that?  What do I do to follow Him?  Or am I going and saying, “Jesus, come along, I got plans here.”   Those were the questions that smacked me in the face one day, months ago.  When I thought it through, I freaked.  How much of my day, week, month is really spent doing what God asks me to do?  When do I ask Him where He wants me to work?  Where He wants me to live. I didn’t.  Then I started asking Him, and things went crazyyyyyyyy.

So, as I watch them grow, it brings me to my last point of the night about the people around us.  I know that a lot of people are taking a serious look at what Luke 9:23 means, and maybe that doesn’t look like Africa to you :)  But, it does mean something for where you are in life and what you need to surrender.  I wasn’t surrendered in all these walks of life a year ago today.  If Papa Dios said, “Go!”  I would have said, “What the heck are you saying, Father?  Pick someone else. I am not willing to do that. I am not going anywhere!”  Okay, so He and I had that convo a few times. Uh, He won :)

Ya  know what I noticed between Christians, and this FIRES ME UP?  We become intimidated when people surrender to Christ.  As absurd as it is, I see it all the time. I see it here and I see it there. For goodness sake, I had to take a day off of work in February because the Christians around me were driving me so insane about moving to the DR that I felt like I was going to have a massive breakdown trying to follow God WHILE LISTENING TO THEIR negative remarks about doing it.  I literally couldn’t breathe one day.  Christians.  I am talking about Christians.  Since when do we pull each other down when we are just trying to follow Whom we say we follow?  If I tell you God told me to do something, why would you ever tell me that “maybe it isn’t Him?  Maybe this is extreme.  Maybe you need a better plan, this isn’t thought through enough.  Maybe it is a huge mistake.  Maybe it is the wrong decision.”  I think maybe we shouldn’t give our advice on something if we haven’t gone into prayer first. 

On the flip side, I know why you did it/do it to my girls now. God gas let me in on a little bit of what is going on.  We do it because we see someone handing her life over to the Lord to do as He wills and IT freaks us out that we do not want to do that ourselves, so instead we are negative to the person that is surrendering.  I don’t think other Christians mean to quench the Spirit in us; it is just a defense mechanism because they are scared of leaping themselves. They have been set in their Christian ways and now you are rocking their comfortable boat with this surrender madness. I know that God is working in them, too. Those of you that are feeling the weight from them now, take heart in knowing that as they watch you leap in faith, they grow, too, watching. So just keep looking to Him to guide and provide.  He will.

So the next time you are around one of these people that are doing radical, and maybe crazy things to follow our Lord and to get to know Him better, listen to your words.  Are they encouraging or negative?  Then, think about your motives.  Are you doing it to pull them down to make yourself feel better?  If God didn’t tell you to say it, don’t say it.  If you don’t know what God sounds like, then it isn’t Him, so don’t. 

I never had that negative outlook on other Christians, so when I feel this, I just don’t understand. My hunger for Christ pulled me to them.  I will chalk it up and give other Christians the benefit of the doubt bc I was unchurched and I didn’t know any better about what a Christian was/suppose to be like or do. I wasn’t intimidated by their life.  So, when I saw a Christian that had self-control and was being obedient to the Lord, I was intrigued.  How the heck do they do that!?  I watched what he/she did and how they spoke about Him b/c I wanted to know this Jesus the way they did.  I drew myself closer to those friends to find out who Jesus was.  I wanted to know the power behind what they were capable of doing that wasn’t normal.  I may have thought they were extreme, but it was evident that there was something or One behind what they did and Whom they followed.  I wasn’t sure I wanted to do all of it HA, but I wanted to know to make that decision.

I don’t have the answers. I don’t know anything unless He reveals it.  I don’t know why I get to live where I do.  I don’t know why I hear Him so clearly.  I don’t know why or how I have come to a place where I pray hundreds of times a day (pray as in talk with God about decisions/people)  I am asking a lot of Y’s lately!! I don’t try to know everything.  If you think that, I am not your issue and nor are these people that are trying to surrender pieces of their lives.  I can assure you, there is an issue as to why you get bothered/defensive by Followers of Christ when you are a Christian yourself.   Ask Him, He will reveal it to you.

I am just trying to tell about what I have experienced following the greatest thing that has ever happened to me, Jesus Christ <3  And, my girls are trying to get closer and know Jesus, too.  Corinithians says people will think we are crazy.  We are.  And, I am so head over heals for my Savior that I feel like 2 glasses of wine in a lot of the time-- smiling and just feeling like life is sooooo gooood and you just love yourself every day!  Yup.    (Uh, when I used to drink, I don’t think I ever just had 2 glasses b/c it felt too good.  That is Jesus.  I can’t get enough of what He supplies!!  Thank goodness His euphoric feelings don’t have the same properties and consequences of the wine ;)  Honestly, I am so lost with this, too.  I find this new life incredible.  I’ve been a Christ follower for years now, but the more I follow, the more my life morphs into something brand new.  I can’t wait to see how I know Him next month, next year, etc.  I don’t understand anything at all most of the time.  I can’t even tell you why the heck I don’t have a flight next week to fly home other than He is pulling the wait thing.   It could simply be for me to listen to Him and I think it is that. He did this when Nay and I were talking about flights for the 28^th to Santiago and it was His way of teaching us that we will need to be on the same prayer page for decisions.  When we all talked about doing it and if we had the “go-ahead” with God, we would proceed as 1 on it.  Seems very small, but very pivotal for our future prayers in working together and speaking up when God tells us to wait.  We could have jumped His wait and just purchased the tickets, yet we wanted to learn the lesson He prepared, so we waited.  We grew from it as He showed us why He said “wait.”

Most of the time, I have no freaking clue what God is up to in life, but I know He is all knowing and powerful.  I want Him in control and not me.

Just as I scream to the heavens asking why I don’t have a husband to kill these massive spiders, I pray the Lord to keep me safe from them. Utt umm, I keep finding spiders in the house.  Dead. I will be just fine without one, He says. 

That’s the Man that leads me.  Sweeeeeet.  Kill ‘em all, Papa!! :)

Will You Pay My Bills?

5:09PM

Sitting on the couch with the fan blowing on me, and then the electricity shuts off.  Eck.  I am writing this in Word, and then transfer I’ll it over to my blog when it comes back on.  We seldom lose power at night.  Usually they shut it off mid-day for a few hours.  We lost power at about 11AM today and got it back sometime while I was in town, around 3-4.  I just realized that we never lose power on the weekends.  For the most part, we always have it.  I have no idea why or when they shut the power off.  I truly don’t think there is a reason to the times and days. Alyssa pointed out that leading up to and during elections, WE ALWAYS had power.  Hmmmmmm.  Moving to the back porch because it it much cooler out there.

So I went to town to cash my check from school, which was for about 10, 000 pesos.  I love the banco!  It has air conditioning.  I forget how nice that crisp air is until I walk into Banco Popular and it hits you in the face. ::Smile::  Ahhhh.  Security guard with a gun is stationed out-front ßstandard operating procedures for banks.  I still do not have a bank account and I was told again that I would be able to open one soon. 

We walked up the side street to go to pay the electric company.  A truck drove by and he screamed junk out the window to us (which is common here) and I couldn’t help but laugh.  I don’t know what he said, but I am sure it was funny.  Elissa didn’t think so at first.  Random marriage proposals are up to about 9 now, somehow I always pictured it a little bit different then what these are :)  (Reminds me:  I caught a moto to go to church last Sunday alone.  As I was approaching town I saw this clean cut, good looking guy on a moto next  to us. He did the stupid “psssst pssst” crap, and I swore it was my friend Chi-Chi, so I smiled big and said HEY, BAaaBaaaY! Nope.  Not Chi-Chi and then they started riding side by side with my moto. Crap. Ha.  I got to church and there was Cheech.  Whoops. Sometimes I want to yell obscenities at them and sometimes I just crack up laughing at how ridiculously harassing they can be and not even care.)  So, my moto was going so fast that I was making up a convo with the moto-man in my head about how he was going to kill me at this speed.  Then I would remember God has big plans here and my likelihood of dying was about zip!  A screwed up face, massive concussion, paralysis, maybe.  There are so many different kinds of bikes here that I don’t know the difference unless I am riding it. This was like a real bike, I would say.  Luke can blog on that when he gets here and sees, to explain the difference.  Usually when I am on a moto we “putt” to church or the store, this thing was zipping so fast I had to hold onto my driver.  Usually I can ride with my hands on my thighs—ready to grab his waist if I need to.  I held on tightly to this guy the whole time and didn’t enjoy the scenery at allllll up the mountain because I was too busy cussing him out in my head. 

I am so alllll over the place with this blog today!  I went to the place to pay my electric bill and there was a line going out the door, literally.  The bill is for 4/09-5/09/12 and I have until 6/08/12 to pay it.  I have been told that you should pay it at the farmacia to avoid overcharges b/c when the electric place sees you are white, they jack the price next time.  I don’t see this being true.  I have no idea, really.  I’ve been lying out and studying Spanish to get a little darker to fit in a bit more.  Some man was hitting on me at the vegetable stand and I told him I was American and he asked if I was born Dominican—it’s working.  J He also followed me all the way to town without me realizing it.  As I turned into Supermercado J, I looked out the window b/c I saw a bright color in my peripheral vision, and sure enough it was him.  Whoa.  He asked if I was a teacher.  People always ask if I work at the “Christian school.”  I assume it is the only school that is Christian and not Catholic in this immediate area.  They don’t ever say Jarabacoa Christian School, just Christian school. 

Back to the electric bill.  You pay all bills in cash and wait in a line.  Online, people.  Online.  J I went with Elissa to Edenorte and waited about 15 minutes.  My bill has some lady’s name on it that I don’t know, Ydalia Abreu.  I was also told not to pay the bill immediately when I get it, which I was about to do, when I got it last month.  Some crap about them restarting the billing cycle from the day you pay it.  I never have any idea how they get away with any of this garbage I write about.  Electric bill was 1216 pesos.  We headed to the phone and Internet place, next, named Claro.  She doesnt know how much she owes because they stopped sending her a bill.  You dont get to see your bill, they just tell you what it is when you get to the counter.  Seriously.  You must get a landline phone in order to have Internet.  Why?   I have no idea.  I still do not have either one at my house.  I want this figured out before I leave for Honduras in 2 weeks and I don’t know if that is actually going to happen bc I cant get anyone to do anything to help fix it.  As we walk in a few people are waiting in line because the lady behind the counter went to go grab a cup of coffee. She came back with this dainty little cup all smiles and no one is as shocked as I am that we are waiting and you are getting some coffee.  I hope you enjoy it, lady.  Okay.  Elissa’s bill was 1798.40.  I throw money in on that because I use the Internet.  I was really bothered that I was illegally pigging backing off upstairs, but I HAVE tried so many times to get it on my own bill that there is no guilt left for this!

Oh, let me tell you about currency.  Anything after the decimal doesn’t count.  We only have pesos and there are no names for the coins other than the amount that they are.  This sounds fine until one day I wanted change for 100 and had no idea how to tell the lady what I wanted at the lunch store.  I asked a kid, “Hey, what are the names of our coins.??”  He says there aren’t any.  “Uh, okay, do I say I want 10-10’s in Spanish?  Or do I say I was 4- 25’s?”  Yea, he didn’t know.  Jillian took charge and got me change somehow.  The lady first took my 100 and gave me 25 back.  Uhhh, no.  Why do you think you would keep 75?  What the heck do you say?!   You can make 50 in pesos and there are 50 peso bills, both are exactly the same value.  Oh, yea, the coins here are SOOOO heavy!  I was cleaning up a little purse I have from the States and was taking all my coins out in a hand full and was shocked at how light our money is compared to the peso.  Peso Coins are 1, 5, 10, and 25.  Peso dollars are 20, 50, 100, 1000, and 2000.  If there are bigger bills, I haven’t touched them yet :)

Just went in to get a cup of coffee and I have power!  Bbbbba-bam!  I flipped the hot water switch because a storm is coming and we might lose it again.  I hope to let my tank get hot for a shower. I head to the kitchen to smack the coffee pot 3 times, flip the switch a few times, and wait to see if it will finish brewing.  No?  Okay, 2 side smacks, unplug, plug-in, flip the switch a few times, do 2 jumping jacks, and smack the top again 4 times.  Brewing :) Jumping jacks always do the trick with that piece of trash coffee pot. 

Lastly, we went to the photo shop and got a picture developed of Elissa’s class.  Inside the shop you can purchase Vikki’s undies.  Why?  No idea.  It is so out of place, but you learn not to question the madness.  Next door is some store and their music is so loud I want to scream STOPPP!  We grabbed some frozen yogurt across the street for 135pesos for a medium and I watch a man walk down the street and see a beer bottle sitting on the ground.  He picks it up and swigs the rest.  Ay yi yi.  I gag on my yogen fruz.   We seriously were in town for maybe an hour or so and I made it out to be an all day ordeal :)  This is why you love me. 

Honduras is fastly approaching!  I can’t believe 4 houses have to be built. I keep forgetting I am going to Honduras b/c there is always junk going on around here and it slips my mind that one of the missions trips are coming up.  Pastor Timm emailed me today checking up on a sister and when I saw he wrote “4 houses,” I was like holy crap we will be exhausted :)   Good exhausted.  I am getting a pedicure as soon as we get back to the States after that!  No more using this paddle board looking sandpaper thing!! My piggies are soaking in a pedi bath, no more trash-can filled with water junk!  

More thoughts to come later, I got some things to do first.  XOXO