Monday, July 7, 2014

Before and After Daniela Arrived Journal

I totally forgot as I wrote a blog tonight that I had started a journal to record my thoughts the week the mission team was here/the week God asked me to take Daniela and Jessica.  Once I realized that God was asking me to blog about it, I started to write things down and waited to post until things were clear.  Note, this doesn't start until Thursday of the week.  Here are some ramblings... (Daniela moved in Mon., June 16th, and then Jessica came on Friday of that week.)


Thursday, June 12, 2014
Went for a walk today and did the hill 6 times.  Probably the slowest time ever, just talking to God.  At one point I said, “And who will be their father right now!??”  it was if God cleared His throat in a pause, then said, “I AM.”  It was capital in my head, too, like it is in Exodus and when Jesus says it in John.  He always has been.

My heart went from heavy and empty to a smirk and a head nod.

Of course, You are.


Friday, June 13, 2014
6:11AM
Woke up so excited and just smiling
My pump is running outside and I thought I heard someone out there.  I looked out and there was a man with a hat on.  I went to my side porch and called to him, he looked up and it was the maintenance guy.  I was told he doesn’t work here anymore, but he was in the backyard doing something (sometimes you just go with things, like men in your backyard).  I told him I needed his number for problems and he gave it to me.  He said, “hey, do you need someone to clean for you?”  In shock, I just said, “what?”  He said his wife needs work and can clean my house.  I asked if she could take care of kids and he said sure!  I told him I would give him a call if I need his services. 

As I hit my door, I bursted into tears.  Of course, I had just been praying to God to work out the details of this very thing.  It was just one of the first ways He has shouted to me, “Got this! Sit back!”  Doesn’t mean I will hire her, it was just assurance of His authority and provision.

I woke up with such joy today. So much I can’t stop smiling at the fact that God chose me to be their mom. 

Saturday, June 14, 2014
6:47AM
I feel good this morning.  Last night I crawled into bed a bit anxious about Daniella’s head lice.  To say her head is infested sounds like an understatement.  I can see from the several eggs on one strand means that it will take days to comb through it all.  All I kept picturing is her giving it to me, getting in her bedding stuff, and not being able to get rid of it.  Honestly, I figured that us 3 girls would just all sleep in my bed the first night if they wanted to do a slumber party celebration…but her head is so filled, I would definitely get it and so would Yesi, if she doesn’t already have it. 

Change of plans and we will go with the flow.  So far the older sister that has custody of Dani says that she agrees the girls should stay together and that would be best for them.  We just need the other sister to sign rights over, too.  I have not heard any word from them yet. 

My heart is happy.  Very different from the first few days when God had asked me to surrender it.  I felt heavy and so out of my own head not knowing how to fully agree to this.

Monday, June 16, 2014
7:15AM
Daniela moves in Day
I had a better night’s rest last night than I have had all week.  I think I, more or less, passed out from exhaustion.  I planned on having my nightly coffee and texting with Summer and Heather, then I would start moving things around to clear out her room.  The power shut off and panic set in.  I was moving all these bags out of dining room from the mission team by flashlight.  Heather advised I take a break, so I jumped in the shower by candlelight.  The water was freezing and the pressure was very low.  I kept thinking is this really happening right now??  I had gotten out and decided that I can totally get some of it done.  Sadly, I had new clothes I wanted to wash and hang dry to be ready for today.   My heart was so sad and I was so overwhelmed that I wouldn’t be able to get all this stuff where it belonged in the dark.  Like I said, since God asked me to take her, my sleeping as been a bare minimum with tossing and turning in Holy Spirit prayers all night.  I was on my last straw.  I told heather I was panicky.  She told me to go ahead and quit for the night, Daniela doesn’t care if all that is done.  It was true.  My friend Kelli said she would love to help me set things up, she is just a kid.  I was fine with just doing a little and hit the sack…then the power came back on.  I was able to sweep, mop, clean, set up her room, do laundry, hang clothes on the line, and get her closet cleaned out of my stuff.  Passed out around 11:30PM.

I am disappointed to hear Jessica isn’t coming.  But my heart tells me she will be coming to join our little family soon.  I had been asking for prayer from just a few people about telling the sister I would adopt Jessica, too.  I see the pause now.  I texted heather if God’s saying anything to her and she said I just don’t know about that, and I had the same pause. (I love getting to look back at this as I hear from God and then seeing it confirmed, and followed through)

I am praying incessantly for these two little girls.  Night and day, consumed with Holy Spirit prayers.  Tossing and turning praying for their souls, safety until they come to my house, language barriers, knowing Jesus, me being able to know “Jesus words,”…etc.

I told God as I tossed early, early morning to wrap her in His arms immediately when she gets here and show her things You’ve done all along.  He said, “This will not be the first time I wrap that child in My arms.”   I knew He was with her through this crazy life path she has been on…because He is God.  He is everywhere.  But I didn’t think of it as taking care of “His kid.”  Mainly because she doesn’t know Him.   Nonetheless, the kids belong to Him.  <3  (Later, I find out, I was wrong with this sentence about her not knowing Him and that He saved them from being killed, as Daniela worded it to me one night.  Only because of Jesus are they alive today. Goosebumps).

Gotta read my bible and get ready.  1130 is court time.  I am excited.  I am filled with joy.  I have perma-grin.  I am honored to be asked to do such a grand thing.  

Thurs. June 19, 2014
9:55PM
Daniella moved in Monday and it looks like Jessica is now COMING!!  Praise Jesus!  The first night Daniela came into my room at 2:30AM.  She woke up in bed in a panic.  It was awkward being woken up, my brain had forgot she was here, and I started rambling in English!  She crawled into bed, buried her head in my chest, and wrapped her arms around me so tightly and didn’t stop for a good 30 mins.  I prayed over her little body over and over and over again.  I don’t think either of us really ever fell back asleep. 

She is doing so well adjusting, I am actually shocked, but I know it is God that has given her such comfort here.  She is so comfortable with Luke, Nay, and Ethan, too.  I have been going in her room since that first night and praying over her like a crazy religious person.  I don’t mind admitting that you may think I was a NUTJOB with the way I am commanding healing and adjustment and God’s hand on her body and soul.  I stand over her sleeping body with one hand almost touching her head or chest, praying whatever God puts in my Spirit to spit out.  (Even I think this is crazy, but I feel led to do it.  PS. She actually knows a lot about the Bible.  I was shocked and so excited!)  She has been completely sleeping through the entire night since and not had a single bad dream.)

Jessica moved in the next day after FIGHT paid for the sister to take a bus into town to bring Jessica and sign papers.  Papers still have not been signed because we have had a lot of trouble with the sisters cooperating with doing it legally and following through with their part.  With God's providence through family-friends, we have everything but one paper.  The mother's death certificate should be in my hands tomorrow...to sign rights over Wed.  

No comments:

Post a Comment