This week marks one month since the girls moved in. It has gone by so fast. It is amazing to see the changes in both of them. Screaming, hitting, and rages have completely ended in Jessica. I truly believe that that is a miracle of God. Both have settled in and Daniela is definitely starting to grieve. She's depressed, cries at night, and is a little too relaxed showing defiance with listening. All in all, things are actually really great. Love their faces and giggles mucho.
Daniela said she knew her little sister's number, so we tried calling over the weekend twice. It worked. I overheard her say, "I have a new mom, she treats me good." I found out there was another sister in the capital after they moved in. I was in shock that there was another one. She lives with a Dominican-American family and nothing with that story really makes sense.
So, I have been here about 2.5 years and I am going through culture shock allllll over again.
In order for me to have legal custody of the kids, I need to obtain certain records and documents, then the judge will sign them over with the signature of a sister. The kids were never legally signed to anyone, instead passed around to family members. The oldest sisters have been very lazy with paperwork and this country doesn't exactly have set ways of doing things. Luke, Naomi, Sul, and I have spent almost every single weekday since I took the girls in, trying to scramble around this town getting documents from birth certificates, to copies, to death records, prison record, autopsy papers, etc. One day Luke and I both raised our voices at a sister that we want documents done and she went with all of in the car to get birth certificates (this does sound rude and I would say we were borderline rude, but it is important that I get signed soon because the trial for the father is coming up and I want all of this done before then. I heard today he should get 30 years, but that source also said that you never know with this country what could happen when they go to trial. They spend a year or sometimes 3, trying to figure out the facts of the case, then you go to trial. Sometimes innocent people sit in jail during this process. Also, the sister of the mom could drop charges against the dad and his sentence could drop. This family has completely lost all my trust and I want to be done with it as quickly as possible).
Anyway, when we left the judge's office the first day I went to sign, she told us to go up the street to another place to just obtain these records. Little did I know, it was not as simple as she acted. So we returned back to town after one man tried to charge us $75 for the prison paper because we were Americans. I was beyond livid. This process of getting official documents quickly in this country with the drop of money INFURIATES ME!!!! We ended up getting that paper for free because "our friend knows someone." Most of my documents have been located because "someone knows someone." Sometimes this is great and sometimes it is absolutely ridiculous the documents you can get your hands on. If you are American, it is assumed you have money. I repeat I AM POOR over and over again.
The office we went to to get birth certs with the sister was the same place to get the mother's death certificate. We had no idea that this was the same place to get the death certificate, so we ended up going back to this place another 4 times, mas o menos (the last document I need is the mother's death certificate). The family was sure that someone had it, so we drove to houses searching. No one could remember who had it (today we found out that that is not true).
I had a paper that has her burial plot (they have cemeteries above ground here). So the paper said that she was paid to stay there for 5 years (don't even ask what happens if someone stops paying...no clue what happens to their box). We took the paper to the place to get the death certificate and we were told we needed the mother's cedulla and a family member's cedulla (something like a Dominican SSN card). Okay, we obtained those. Then we needed a paper from the cemetery that was official. We went to the cemetery and they searched boxes looking for the document. Remember? I have a paid receipt copy. Doesn't matter, they couldn't find THEIR copy. "Sorry, we have no record of her and can't find it in our files (boxes)." I wanted to lose my mind. She is definitely there, go walk to the tomb! You lost it?? Make another one up! Once again, we obtained another document to take to the office to get the certificate, which is not the document we were originally told we needed. Why did the document change? No idea. This was one from the hospital that is a report of how she died, similar to an autopsy, but not one. Then we went back with it and they said they do not have a record of her death. She is not declared dead. I.may.lose.it. Not declared dead? I have a legal document that he was was arrested for her murder, I have an autopsy paper, and I have her burial plot paid, but she isn't dead? How does all that happen without being declared dead?? As one person put it, "To them she is still alive, it's like she isn't dead because she isn't declared dead yet." No one in her family declared her dead, so she is not dead. Yet. They didn't have to pay for this, just declare it. So alllll along, we are trying to track a death certificate that DOES not exist and no one ever had. Somehow the family didn't realize this. Or did they? I really do not know.
Let me pause here. At different offices I am told, "Sorry, we don't have it." It is very common here that the poor do not obtain proper records because they cost money. Jessica's vaccinations' card is missing and the hospital told me she couldn't go to school. After raising my voice that there IS SOMETHING they can do, we figured it out. Telling me she can't go to school is not an answer, tell me what I do to make it happen. This card is lost, so it's lost. No copies of it anywhere at any office. If it is, it is in a large book and no one is looking to see if there is a pen log. OHHHhh okay, I can go to this certain doctor and PAY HER for all the shots (that are free at the public hospital) and she will start me a brand new card? Fabulous.
I wrote this yesterday and we are headed out to hopefully get that certificate of death because she is declared dead as of yesterday, I think, today. Pray for us!!! Headed to the doctors for vaccinations and the eye doctor because Daniela said she once had glasses. Much love!
Daniela said she knew her little sister's number, so we tried calling over the weekend twice. It worked. I overheard her say, "I have a new mom, she treats me good." I found out there was another sister in the capital after they moved in. I was in shock that there was another one. She lives with a Dominican-American family and nothing with that story really makes sense.
So, I have been here about 2.5 years and I am going through culture shock allllll over again.
In order for me to have legal custody of the kids, I need to obtain certain records and documents, then the judge will sign them over with the signature of a sister. The kids were never legally signed to anyone, instead passed around to family members. The oldest sisters have been very lazy with paperwork and this country doesn't exactly have set ways of doing things. Luke, Naomi, Sul, and I have spent almost every single weekday since I took the girls in, trying to scramble around this town getting documents from birth certificates, to copies, to death records, prison record, autopsy papers, etc. One day Luke and I both raised our voices at a sister that we want documents done and she went with all of in the car to get birth certificates (this does sound rude and I would say we were borderline rude, but it is important that I get signed soon because the trial for the father is coming up and I want all of this done before then. I heard today he should get 30 years, but that source also said that you never know with this country what could happen when they go to trial. They spend a year or sometimes 3, trying to figure out the facts of the case, then you go to trial. Sometimes innocent people sit in jail during this process. Also, the sister of the mom could drop charges against the dad and his sentence could drop. This family has completely lost all my trust and I want to be done with it as quickly as possible).
Anyway, when we left the judge's office the first day I went to sign, she told us to go up the street to another place to just obtain these records. Little did I know, it was not as simple as she acted. So we returned back to town after one man tried to charge us $75 for the prison paper because we were Americans. I was beyond livid. This process of getting official documents quickly in this country with the drop of money INFURIATES ME!!!! We ended up getting that paper for free because "our friend knows someone." Most of my documents have been located because "someone knows someone." Sometimes this is great and sometimes it is absolutely ridiculous the documents you can get your hands on. If you are American, it is assumed you have money. I repeat I AM POOR over and over again.
The office we went to to get birth certs with the sister was the same place to get the mother's death certificate. We had no idea that this was the same place to get the death certificate, so we ended up going back to this place another 4 times, mas o menos (the last document I need is the mother's death certificate). The family was sure that someone had it, so we drove to houses searching. No one could remember who had it (today we found out that that is not true).
I had a paper that has her burial plot (they have cemeteries above ground here). So the paper said that she was paid to stay there for 5 years (don't even ask what happens if someone stops paying...no clue what happens to their box). We took the paper to the place to get the death certificate and we were told we needed the mother's cedulla and a family member's cedulla (something like a Dominican SSN card). Okay, we obtained those. Then we needed a paper from the cemetery that was official. We went to the cemetery and they searched boxes looking for the document. Remember? I have a paid receipt copy. Doesn't matter, they couldn't find THEIR copy. "Sorry, we have no record of her and can't find it in our files (boxes)." I wanted to lose my mind. She is definitely there, go walk to the tomb! You lost it?? Make another one up! Once again, we obtained another document to take to the office to get the certificate, which is not the document we were originally told we needed. Why did the document change? No idea. This was one from the hospital that is a report of how she died, similar to an autopsy, but not one. Then we went back with it and they said they do not have a record of her death. She is not declared dead. I.may.lose.it. Not declared dead? I have a legal document that he was was arrested for her murder, I have an autopsy paper, and I have her burial plot paid, but she isn't dead? How does all that happen without being declared dead?? As one person put it, "To them she is still alive, it's like she isn't dead because she isn't declared dead yet." No one in her family declared her dead, so she is not dead. Yet. They didn't have to pay for this, just declare it. So alllll along, we are trying to track a death certificate that DOES not exist and no one ever had. Somehow the family didn't realize this. Or did they? I really do not know.
Let me pause here. At different offices I am told, "Sorry, we don't have it." It is very common here that the poor do not obtain proper records because they cost money. Jessica's vaccinations' card is missing and the hospital told me she couldn't go to school. After raising my voice that there IS SOMETHING they can do, we figured it out. Telling me she can't go to school is not an answer, tell me what I do to make it happen. This card is lost, so it's lost. No copies of it anywhere at any office. If it is, it is in a large book and no one is looking to see if there is a pen log. OHHHhh okay, I can go to this certain doctor and PAY HER for all the shots (that are free at the public hospital) and she will start me a brand new card? Fabulous.
I wrote this yesterday and we are headed out to hopefully get that certificate of death because she is declared dead as of yesterday, I think, today. Pray for us!!! Headed to the doctors for vaccinations and the eye doctor because Daniela said she once had glasses. Much love!
No comments:
Post a Comment